|Today would have been my Dad’s 77th birthday. Dad liked nothing better than having a steak for his birthday. Mom likes a Ribeye, but not Dad, he liked a T-Bone, the bigger the better. In recent years, the local steakhouse closed down, reopened, closed again, reopened as a church, closed again and has now reopened as a Mexican restaurant.
Confused? Me too!
So, in keeping with the family tradition, we’re going out for T-bones at the new Longhorn that has opened near where the old steakhouse once stood.
I’m sad you can’t be with us but we know you’ll be watching. I don’t know if you ever got to eat at Longhorn or not but I hear they cook a really mean steak.
We miss you.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Posted by Gianetta at 12:03 AM
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
|"Well, there's no water," I yelled back.
And there I stood.
And no water. Oh, rats! Talk about having perfect timing...well, maybe imperfect, anyway.
What happened next was a scene straight out of The Bing Bang Theory where Howard and his mother are trying to engage in conversation.
"What'd ya say?"
"There's no water. I got soap everywhere."
"What happened to the water? You ain't still got soap in your hair, do ya?"
"I don't know what happened, you better check the water heater. And yes, I've got soap in every orifice and a head full of shampoo. The water heater is in the basement and try not to throw up down there." I yelled back as I started to shiver underneath my layer of soap. (The basement is very musty and damp and Friend throws up every time she goes in there.)
"Oh, crap! Isn't the hot water heater in the basement. I hope it don't make me throw up. I'll check the water meter too while I'm outside."
"You better check the meter while you're outside, too," I yelled back. Meanwhile, the water seemed to be making a comeback, albeit a very sparse trickle. My main priority was to get the soap out of the nether region because I was beginning to feel a slight burning sensation. I don't know how much time elapsed but in between drops of water I thought I heard Friend retching in the basement. "Find anything?" I asked. "Are you okay?"
"There's nothing down here. I just puked everywhere...*#^king basement. I'm okay, though."
Time continued to pass and I was performing contortions trying to get the slow-moving stream where it needed to be. Imagine trying to rinse off a layer of soap a straw full at a time. Not the most productive way, to say the least. I yelled for Friend a few times but there was no answer until I heard a comment from the kitchen. "I got your mail when I was checking the water meter and you're not gonna believe this? I told you that you should get your mail more than once a week."
"Who cares about the mail? What about the water?" I couldn't figure out why she was talking about the mail. At that moment the water came back on full force. "Never mind, the water is back on." I finished my shower, got dressed and walked into the living room where Friend was chuckling to herself. "What's up with you? And why were you talking about the mail, earlier?"
Friend pointed to the table where I noticed a postcard from the local water department dated from earlier in the week. Basically, it read that they would be performing maintenance on the water lines and to expect some disruption of the water flow.
What wasn't really surprising to me was the date and time of the scheduled maintenance: the exact time and date that I had stepped in the shower.
Charlie Brown ain't got nothing on me...
Sunday, January 22, 2012
|"Oh, rats," as good old Charlie Brown would say.
Do you ever feel that you have the luck of this lovable loser? You know, the whole when it rains, it pours syndrome and you forgot your umbrella and parked your car at the very end of the parking lot which is now a newly formed lake.
To make matters worse, everything in your shopping cart is perishable and you ordered a pizza to have delivered to your house but now the road is shut down do to the flash flooding that is taking place.
In other words, your timing STINKS!
This happened to me the other day. I got up at my normal time, took my first pill of the day that has to be taken on an empty stomach and went for my morning walk. (That's my latest self-improvement project. I walk for thirty minutes while I let the medicine absorb into my body.) After that, I had breakfast and caught up on some reading. Friend had mentioned that she wanted to check out the new antique store that had just opened uptown, so I went to hop in the shower.
Unfortunately, I had eaten bacon and eggs for breakfast, along with three cups of coffee and now my guts were roiling.
This delayed my entry into the shower by a good ten minutes.
Routine is everything when I'm in the shower. Here's how it is supposed to go:
Turn on water and adjust accordingly before entering shower
Wet body and hair
Open shampoo, lather, rinse, repeat
Keeping shampoo on head in full lather during second washing while washing other parts of the body
...and that's when the trouble started
I was lost somewhere in song (singing I got the moves like Jagger) when I noticed the steady stream of water bursting from my shower head had started to lessen, to recede, then trickle and then dribble on down to an occasional drop. What in the world I thought to myself. "Hey," I yelled at Friend. "Are you running water in the kitchen?"
"No, why?" she yelled back...
Friday, January 20, 2012
|...I'm sure Publisher's Clearing House receives all sorts of weirdo and wacky phone calls and mine turned out to be no exception:
Publisher's Clearing House (PCH): "Hello, this is Ambrosia. How may I help you?"
MAFW: "Hey, I have a question about an invoice I received?"
PCH: "Okay, not a problem. Do you have the customer order number?"
MAFW: "Yes, it's 24567palm5671985."
PCH: "Could you repeat that, please? I'm showing one letter missing."
MAFW: "Uh, okay. it's 24567palme5671985."
PCH: "Okay, got it. Can you give me the last four digits of your credit card for verification?"
MAFW: "Hold on. I gotta go get it."
PCH: "That's fine, I'll wait."
MAFW: "It's 2837."
PCH: "Okay, got it. Now, could you please tell me your high school mascot for verification?"
MAFW: "Sure, it was a Green Devil."
PCH: "I'm sorry. That's not the information you entered onto your form for security purposes. Could it be something else?"
MAFW: "Hmm, not a Green Devil? Okay, try a Devilish Darling? And my shoe size is 10."
PCH: "Okay, that got it. I didn't need the shoe size, though." (No sense of humor.) "What can I help you with today?"
MAFW: "I received an invoice from you guys and I also received a bill from Vanity Fair. Am I being double-billed?"
PCH: "I'm sorry. I don't understand the question."
MAFW: "Why did you guys send me two separate bills? I thought I was supposed to pay directly to PCH and not worry about any other invoices."
PCH: "Ma'am, according to my records we only sent you one invoice and I don't know anything about the other bill?"
MAFW: "Uh, why not?"
PCH: "Why not, what?"
MAFW: "Why don't you know about the Vanity Fair bill?"
PCH: "Ma'am, Publisher's Clearing House doesn't offer that magazine."
PCH: "Anything else I can help you with? If not, thanks and I hope you win the million dollars!"
Me too, because at the rate I'm going, I'm gonna need a million bucks to pay for all of these magazines...
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
|An excellent soup on a winter's day.
The following is a recipe for Confederate Bean Soup:
This a great soup to make when you have leftover baked beans. If you don't have leftovers, you can substitute Bush's baked beans. (I had that and I also added a can of Bush's hot chili beans.)
1/2 pound of smoked sausage, slice in 1/4 in slices (I used a whole pound)
2 slices bacon, diced (I used ham lunchmeat)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 medium onion, diced (I omitted the onions, because I'm allergic to them)
1/2 green bell pepper, diced (optional) (I didn't choose this option)
2 tablespoons butter
2 cups Bush's baked beans or leftovers
1 1/2 cups half-n-half (I used 2 cups)
Saute sausage, bacon, onions, garlic and peppers in butter until bacon is cooked. Add beans and simmer for a few minutes over medium to low heat. Add half-n-half. Increase or decrease h-n-h for preferred thickness. Serve with hot corn bread. Serves three or four.
I added some black pepper to taste and about a 1/2 cup of shredded cheddar cheese. I was very surprised at how well this soup turned out. I served mine with a bit more cheese, a few saltines and dropped the cornbread on top.
I made enough so that I would have leftovers. The problem is that I forgot I was out of Beano, so I'm sure they'll hear me all the way down in Savannah, at least for a few days!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
|Happy New Year!
Since it's a new year, I've decided to eat more healthy, get more exercise, have a better outlook on things and get my daily recommended dose of vitamins and minerals to help me be healthy, wealthy and wise.
As with all such recommendations, there's usually a catch. Namely, you'll go broke!
I'm a sucker for the impulse purchase of a magazine at the checkout line if it has a catchy title. One such magazine recently was First For Women which screamed "Dr. Oz's Rx for extreme weight loss", another headline read "Rev up slow glands" and lastly, "Drop 11 pounds in one week." Holy crap! I had to get this magazine.
After a lunch of tacos and bean burritos, I found myself with time to really delve into my new purchase as I sat trapped on the throne in my lavishly decorated reading room. I quickly found the sections that I was interested in and started reading:
1. Be 100% healthy with coconut---to shed your holiday 10, to dodge colds and flu, to make hair extra soft and shiny, to heal irritated skin, to speed up sluggish glands and to relieve feminine dryness---recommendation: 2 Tbs of coconut oil. Spectrum Naturals Organic Coconut Oil Unrefined ($11 for 14 oz., at VitaminShoppe.com) (Hmm, I do suffer from some of these ailments, maybe, I'll try it.)
2. Drop 11 lbs in 7 days with African mango---too busy to diet or exercise---recommendation: 150 mg of African mango extract. ($21 for 60 capsules, at drugstore.com) (I am really busy.)
3. Too tired to resist carbs---lose 50 lbs in three months with sea buckthorn---recommendation: Sibu Beauty Revitalize & Renew Sea Buckthorn Liquid Supplement. ($18 for 25 oz., at Amazon.com) (I do love me some carbs.)
4. Vitamin A protects against hearing loss---recommendation: 700 mg daily. ($9 for 30 capsules at any fine drug store) (What'd ya say?)
5. Years of fatigue vanished in a week---this brain chemical shortage makes 3 in 4 women tired---recommendation: L-tyrosine, vitamin B6, fava bean extract and mucuna pruriens bean extract supplements. (Balance D, $29 for 60 capsules, at iHerb.com)
6. Make 2012 your happiest year---reactivate the happiness/energy area of your brain---recommendation: recitation of the Lord's Prayer. (Free)
I stopped reading there because that is the best recommendation I've read about in a long time...and the best part, I didn't have to buy anything, because I already knew it by heart.