I haven't written about any conversations with my mom lately but this one really takes the cake. The following is a conversation that took place a few evenings ago:
I called mom.
Mom: "Hello?"
Me: "Hey?" Silence... "Mom?"
Mom: "Yep?"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Mom: "It's 7:15 p.m. What'cha think I'm doing?"
Me: "Watching Wheel of Fortune?"
Mom: "Yep. Eating too! HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT?"
Me: "Huh?"
Mom: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot."
Me: "Are you listening to Pat Benetar? I didn't know you were a fan. I just got through eating too."
Mom: "No, I answered the puzzle on TV. What did you eat for dinner? No, don't tell me; let me guess. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, biscuits, sweet tea and chocolate cake, am I close?"
Me: "Uh, not really."
Mom: "Okay. Pizza, hot wings and real Coke, I know that's one of your favorites."
Me: "Nope. I made Asian stir fry. It had boneless, skinless chicken, sugar snap peas, red peppers, soy sauce and I topped it off with an egg. I also had slices of fresh tomatoes from my garden and sauteed asparagus. It was incredible!"
Silence.
Me: "Hello?"
More silence.
Me: "Mom?"
Mom: "Since when have you started eating like that? I don't think you've ever eaten a pepper or a pea pod?"
Me: "I told you I was trying to eat better. I'm eating all sorts of new things."
Mom: "Good for you. Does that mean we can't go to Dairy Queen when you come up tomorrow?"
Me: "We can go, but I'm gonna watch you eat. I'm serious this time."
Mom: "I guess you must be serious. CHANGING YOUR WAYS? You never turn down ice cream."
Me: "What?"
Mom: "Changing your ways--that was the last puzzle on the show. I guess it must be a sign. Well, I'm rootin' for ya. Gotta go! Click!"
A sign? Maybe? Check back in a few months. I'll let you know how it's going...
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