10. The fire in the fireplace has frozen solid.
9. The ground cracks with every step you take.
8. You've tuned Tokyo in so close that you're starting to speak the language.
7. Runny noses are no longer running. They're frozen snot.
6. The surfer dudes are like "Dude, where's my shirt?"
5. No bare chested, bare breasted or butt cracks in sight.
4. The weather people are like, "Told ya so."
3. I haven't taken down my outside Christmas decorations yet.
2. The groundhog is on everyone's most wanted list.
1. Bite me, Mother Nature! This crap ain't funny no more.
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