Friday, March 16, 2012

Conversations Of The Digestive System...Namely Mine


"Holy Crap! What was that?"

"Hey, Biggy, (large intestine) you push anything out yet?"

"Yo, Smalls, (small intestine) it hasn't even made it here yet!"

"Hey, Mack, (stomach) what's going on up there?"

"Fish and chips without the chips.

Ribeye steak without the tater.

Fried chicken with no mashed potatoes.

Asparagus."

"Fresh cole slaw made from scratch. Hey MAFW? Are you trying to kill us down here?" said Mack. "I ain't recognized anything you've been putting in me. Where's the tater chips?"

"Yeah! Hey, Lady? We ain't had a biscuit down here in about three months. Ya trying to starve us or somethin'?" said Smalls.

"Hey, Lady? Smalls is right. Are you paying attention to us? I ain't seen any greasy cheeseburgers in a long time. My walls are even starting to come clean from all that ruffage crap you been feeding us. Ruffage; now, that's funny!" said Biggy. "Hey, Mack! She's been eating R-U-F-F-A-G-E."

"Ruffage! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Oh my! You've never eaten ruffage before. The next thing you know you'll be eating beets and rutabagas. Hey, fellas? The MAFW is gonna start eating beets and parsnips...lololol"

"Beets? Yuck!" said Smalls. "I hope she stays away from the onions; those things stink!"

"Yo, anyone seen Chubs (fat) lately?" asked Biggy.

"Fellas, you don't have to worry about the onions; I'm allergic, remember? But, I am trying to get healthy, so ya'll better shape up. As for Chubs, he's down about 30 pounds and has learned to keep his mouth shut. Now, where'd I put that recipe for pickled beets....."

2 comments:

Jody Worsham said...

Dang, my no McDonald's lasted one month. 30 pounds migh as well be 60 pounds for me o achieve. I know. I know. Weigh loss starts one spoonful at a time..I just want my spoon full of mashed potatoes and gravy. Clever writing.

Sharon said...

Clever. Loved the conversation. Congrats on the 30 lb.

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