Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
|I had spent a few hours selling junk at the flea market and decided I would take the long way home and stop and see what mom was doing. It was before noon on Friday which still left a few hours to visit local yard sales, which is a favorite pastime of ours. I had noticed several sales coming over the mountain and that's the way we headed.
The first place we stopped wasn't really a yard sale, it was more of a permanent-type set up that is always selling junk. It's not normally where you can find a good deal. We had wanted to check out a few other locations in that area but my sugar started to drop and we went to lunch instead. (Mom and I never miss an opportunity to eat out!)
Mom usually adopts the requirements of the diet that I am on at any given time. The flavor of the month this time is the Adkin's Diet or low carbohydrate diet. Of course, when I have hypoglycemia, I have to have carbohydrates, or sugar, quickly to raise my blood glucose level or I can have a seizure. (Check out Julia Robert's having a seizure in Steel Magnolias and you'll see for yourself; it ain't pretty.)
Mom decided she wanted the half chef salad with blue cheese dressing on the side. They didn't have blue cheese, so she ordered french. I'm not sure if the waitress was hard of hearing or not but she thought mom said ranch and they kept getting louder and louder as the server would say RANCH and mom would say NO! FRENCH! After several exchanges it was determined that they didn't have french, and mom ended up with ranch after all.
After lunch we headed over to the other side of town and were headed back towards Mom's house on a back road. We do like to explore and ended up following signs advertising a yard sale well off the beaten path. In fact, it was way past being out in the boonies and we thought we were heading to Timbuktu or it's neighbor, East Fumble Buck. We pulled up to a house that had it's entire yard filled with junk; our kind of place. The lady having the sale was talking to some fella about medical problems or something but nodded in our direction. I had seen that guy before at sales around town; he'll talk your ear off. The lady had a very large table piled with paperback books and a sign said they were a quarter each. Now, that's a really good price and I was thinking about making the lady an offer to buy the entire table. "How much for the whole table?" I asked.
The lady walked away from Mr. Talkative and over to the table. Now, I had a price in my head and if she was anywhere close to it, I was going to get the whole shebang. "Oh, 'bout ten dollars," she said.
Before I even had time to process that amount Mom walks over and says, "Sold!" The lady and I looked at each other; we didn't know mom wanted in on the deal. I started to say something to mom when she shushed me and said, "Snooze, you lose, go get the car, those books are mine!"
What's a daughter to do? I wanted the books.
You're right, I went and got the car...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
|****This was forwarded to me in an email. I thought I would share it with you!****
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
You could run this over to your friends... But just e-mail it to them
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
I was up at the mailbox this morning when my eccentric neighbor, Merlethem Shatz, spotted me and came rushing over. For obvious reasons that I've chronicled before I try to avoid her whenever possible. However, I'm usually not successful and end up with an earful; today was no exception.
"Hey! Middle-Aged Fat Lady! Where you been? You ain't been setting out on the porch lately?"
"It's been too hot," I replied.
"Whew! I know what you mean. I've been chafed in more places than I care to mention. I been through a whole bottle of Goldbond Medicated Powder. Tell your sister I said thanks for those coupons; they really came in handy. Did you watch the Stand Up To Cancer Telethon the other night?"
"I watched most of it. I was amazed that they got all three of the network news anchors to be together on the same channel," I said.
"Well, I wasn't too concerned about that. I've been saving my change and I wanted to make a donation," Merlethem said.
"That's terrific. Did you make one?"
"I did, but it took me all night!"
"Why? Was the line busy?" I asked.
"No. I kept hanging up on them," she said.
"What did you do that for?" I asked.
"I kept getting people I've never heard of before," she said.
"I don't understand..."
"Every time I called I got a volunteer or someone that I've never heard of. I got that Kathy Griffin woman three times. Ain't she on the B list or something?"
"Well, I don't think it's very nice to hang up on people. Those folks are volunteering their time and energy."
"That may be true. But, I'm volunteering my money and if I'm going to make a donation. I want to talk to a celebrity. A real one."
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
|Recently, I took a trip to the Alabama Mountains wanting to relax and enjoy the scenery. I devoted a whole week of writing to the tale of Mentone, Alabama, because someone told me to tell the story when I was sitting on the toilet. "Tell the story," the voice said. "Tell the story!" Well, I did. And I haven't felt like reflecting since. I guess the voice in the john wants all the attention or something.
Anyhow, another place I visited while in the area was the Unclaimed Baggage store. You may have heard of it. It's been on the Nightly News, Oprah, 60 Minutes, I think, and other various news programs around the country. In a nutshell, if you leave something on a plane or forget to pick up your luggage and don't claim it by a certain time it ends up at this store in Scottsboro, AL.
Below are the items that I just couldn't live without:
Everybody always needs a belt buckle or two. I got a friend in Texas, maybe, I'll send it to her.
You can never have too many wallets!
Or buy it!
Friday, September 3, 2010
...We all agreed to sit on the patio and proceeded to enjoy one of the best meals that I have ever eaten. Now, we knew why you needed a reservation: the food was excellent. The restaurant had a very relaxed atmosphere; it went along with the Artsy and Shabby Chic feel of the town. We met the chef--he came out several times and introduced himself as the guy that was doing the cooking. There was live entertainment (although we only heard it when the door was opened) and a small gift shop to purchase locally made items. It was a really nice evening!
After a relaxing few days and a trip to the Unclaimed Baggage store which I'll be telling you about in a future post this story should have ended. I never intended to tell you about my adventure to Mentone. It was just a nice weekend that I spent with friends. But the problem is this: I couldn't get Mentone out of my brain. I'm not sure why, I just couldn't.
One night, a few days after returning home from the trip I had to make a midnight trip to the potty. I never turn the lights on and as I was sitting on the toilet someone whispered in my ear, "Mentone. Write the story on Mentone." I kid you not. It spooked me. It had been a while since I had heard from any of the visitors that seem to follow me around.
And what's even more strange is that Friend said she had a dream that told her to tell me to write the story about Enotnem, which is Mentone spelled backwards.
Well, there you have it. I've written the story about Mentone. I'm still not really sure why except if a voice tells you to do something in the middle of the night--you'd better do it!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
After an enjoyable lunch of seafood and a full hour of classic country tunes it was time to head on back up the mountain and meet up with some friends. We finally arrived at the cabin and were somewhat surprised by the location; it was remote and isolated to say the least.
It was later in the day and the subject of dinner was brought up. We had packed a few essentials such as beer, wine and a family size bag of Lay's potato chips. Back in my college days those three items would have made for an enjoyable weekend; now that I'm older--not so much.
We didn't really have many options for dinner; in fact, we only had one option and that was the Wildflower Cafe. We pulled into the parking lot and were surprised by the amount of cars. One of my friends walked up to the hostess and before she could say anything the hostess said, "Do you have a reservation?"
Reservation? Are you kidding me? It's a Thursday night, in the middle of nowhere, in a town with a population of 46 people and I've just been asked if I had a reservation. "No," my friend said.
"Well, I know I don't have anything inside for the next two hours, but there might be something out back. Wait right here," said the lady. She came back in a few moments and said, "Well, I can put you out on the patio or you can get on the waiting list and we may be able to seat you. We close early..."