Top Ten Signs You Are Home From Vacation

After a nearly two week vacation up the East Coast I am happy to be home once again. Sort of. I got accustomed to certain things on the road and now that I'm home again, reality has sunk in that I'm no longer on holiday. Here are my top ten signs that I'm definitely home from vacation: 10. No matter how long I stand in the kitchen with a plate in my hand a server is not going to bring me any food. 9. The milk in the fridge did indeed expire before the expiration date. 8. The bills did not pay themselves. 7. The yard is two feet high. 6. I have over 1500 hundred emails in my inbox, of which only two are worth reading. 5. I touched wood at the bottom of my underwear drawer--there ain't nothing else in there. 4. The cats ate the last can of food in the pantry--a can of tuna--because they've been out of food for three days. 3. The litter box changed itself. 2. It's been three days since I laughed so hard that I nearly wet my pants. And the number one reason I can tell I am home from vacation: This is the first thing I've written in two weeks, but stay tuned because I've got a whole lot more to say.