Potty Mouth Of The South

Last weekend, Mom and I went up to Harrah's Casino in Cherokee, NC, for a night on the town. I had procured last row seats for us to watch a live cooking demonstration by the charming and butter loving Queen of Southern Cuisine, Miss Paula Deen. Mom and I weren't totally in the back row (3rd from the back)but we were far enough away that you had to watch one of the large projection screens to see what was happening on the stage. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but I was definitely surprised at what I got. Somewhere between calling a few ladies in the audience "Bitches" to discussing "things" that she blew with her son, I began to squirm and feel uncomfortable in my seat. Mom noticed I was uneasy after another colorful off the cuff remark and said, "Ain't she funny. I heard she was raunchy." Raunchy. My mother just said the word raunchy. I'm no prude by any means but is raunchy really the word you want to hear your mother say? What about funny? What about What's she cooking next? Maybe even I love it when she says, Hey Ya'll? But, definitely not raunchy. And so the show must go on. Me, in a state of total disbelief that my favorite TV chef was no longer the Queen of Southern Cuisine but had morphed into the Potty Mouth of the South. Mom, sitting upright, erect with nose peeled to her binoculars totally transfixed by the sights and sounds emanating from her hero, Paula Deen. Paula didn't do any cooking. One of the chefs that work for her prepared the meal while Paula paced the stage and took questions from the audience in a Carol Burnett Show fashion. It was a three-course meal prepared for a few lucky folks that got to sit up on the stage. Several of her family members were there including her Aunt Peggy; brother, Bubba; husband, Michael and son, Bobby, and they all sat on the stage shaking their heads as the TV chef peppered the audience with as much fire that is found in her signature hot crab dip. One of the highlights of the show was when Bobby spoke about a couple that he had met the night before in the new Paula Deen Kitchen restaurant. The man, having been injured in an accident was now wheelchair bound and relied heavily on his girlfriend of many years as he continued his recovery. Paula asked the couple, who were seated in the row right behind us to come down to the stage. Once there, the man proposed to his girlfriend (she accepted) and they got to sit at the table with the other guests. It really was an awesome moment! Later, as we stalked Paula around the casino (she was hanging out in the high roller section) and were waiting in line to eat, we overheard a group of seniorly, cackling old bitties complaining about the fact that she hadn't cooked and had used such salty language. Mom, who had removed her Walkman to listen just shook her head in disgust. "I don't understand what was so bad about it," she said. "Them women been blowing stuff probably their whole married lives. Friggin' prudes!" Whatever you say, Mom!

Hey Ya'll! Guess Where We're Going?

Mom called me up a few months ago wanting to know when we were going to have another adventure. Being as how the economy is still slower than slow, the Thanksgiving holiday, Christmas, New Years and trying to plan something around her Zumba and Belly dancing classes, we either haven't had the money or the time to get anything planned. Until now. A few weeks ago I received a flyer from one of the casinos that I used to go to back when I had a disposable income. I must have forged a very special relationship with them because they are the only folks that I ever receive any mail from. It's all addressed specifically to me and they always says how much they've missed me. When was the last time anyone sent you a letter that said that? Anyhow, the casino, which is Harrah's Cherokee located in Cherokee, NC, has been undergoing a major facelift. New hotel towers. New parking garages. New, totally huge auditorium with seating for 3000. And, seemingly the best of all, according to them, a new restaurant designed by the Queen of Southern Cuisine and whose favorite food is butter, Miss Paula Deen. Hey Ya'll! The flyer said the Grand Opening of the restaurant will be January 22, 2011, and Paula will be there to do a show and presentation and will officially open the eatery which supposedly resembles her home down in Savannah. I was so excited that I was drooling all over the flyer. Have you ever had Paula's macaroni and cheese? DDDDDDrrrrrrrooooooooooooolllllll. (In my best Homer J Simpson voice.) Mom loves, loves, loves Paula Deen. Did I mention that Mom loves Paula Deen? I wonder if she would like to go? Wouldn't it be a nice surprise if we went away for the weekend and Mom got to see Paula and I got to eat her macaroni and cheese? Do you think it will snow again? Cherokee is located in the Smokey Mountains, you know? Valentine's Day is coming up, too! Okay! I just talked myself into it. I got the tickets and am going to surprise mom with them. Her computer got eaten by a virus so she hasn't been reading the blog lately. The Geek Squad isn't coming until next week. Brother and Sister won't say a word. NO family members are to call mom until next week. It's a surprise, people! So anyway, that's what I'll be doing this weekend. Losing money, eating mac and cheese and laughing with mom. Wish you were here! Best dishes!