Conversations Of The Unemployed

***The following is an ongoing conversation that I have been having with myself for almost two years.*** Loser. You're kidding me? You still haven't found a job yet? Aren't you supposed to be one of the smartest people around? Why don't you go work at McDonald's or something? As Brother said, if you're hungry enough you'll do about anything. Well, you know I have applied to every restaurant and retail facility in town. I stood in line for 4 hours to be interviewed for a part time position at a pizza joint and 500 other people showed up too--all for a shot at 25 part time opportunities. What about the new Walmart? I applied there too. Didn't even get called for an interview. Loser. I thought you had years of customer service experience. Plus, a degree in Management and a Real Estate License and you didn't even get an interview. Maybe, you're doing something wrong. Like what? I'm looking for input....Input!...Me, Johnny 5! Can it with the impressions! Nobody probably remembers Short Circuit, anyway. Have you tried the Department of Labor? Labor! HAH! That place should be called the Department of Rest. The only jobs listed there are for farm workers in the Deep South. I know I used to work on a farm but I wouldn't even last two hours out in the field trying to keep up with those folks. What about Craigslist? Been there. Done that. I've tried all of the online job sites: Career Builder, Monster, Indeed, Simply Hired, the local papers. Nothing. Loser. You can Can it with the Loser remarks too! Sorry. Are you sorry you left the Post Office now? All your family wants to talk about when you get together is how you left the perfect job and you've done nothing since. Why haven't you told them that your position was going to be eliminated and how sick you were? What about applying for Disability? Well, family is family and nobody wants to hear your problems; everyone has their own to muddle through. I guess being a professional mystery shopper, a reseller at the flea market and a full time blogger don't amount to much in some folk's eyes. That sounds like a full time job to me. Mystery shopper, huh? I always thought they were scams. Can you tell me about it? I'd like to earn some extra money... Nope! I'm not allowed to talk about it. It's classified! Classified, huh? Maybe you aren't such a loser after all.