Discounts Are Hard To Come By

I bought the Sunday paper on Tuesday last week. It seems that as a cost cutting measure the Atlanta Journal and Constitution won't deliver to my county any longer. If I want to look at the Sunday paper on Sunday I have to drive 14 miles to get it. I have done this 4 times so far, and they have already sold out of the paper 3 times. I know you're probably thinking, "Well, MA Fat Woman, why don't you just subscribe?" The paper has stopped all delivery to my county. No more paper routes, no more chasing the neighborhood dog, and no more chasing my crazy neighbor who thinks that the paper belongs to her. Anyhow, I like to get the paper for the coupons. So, I had to run to the next county and stopped in at a convenience store. Wouldn't you know it, they had one copy of the Sunday paper left. I thought I'll snatch that paper right up and took it up to the counter. I still had to pay full price for the dang thing. (At least it still had the coupons in it.) That night as I sat relaxing with the cat I started thumbing through the sales fliers. I hoped there might be a sale on the cat's cat food this week. I had finally made it through all the ads and there wasn't a coupon in sight. (Unless you count the free trial prescription for Cialis, which I don't need.) Full price for the Sunday paper on Tuesday and I didn't even get any coupons. Some days, you just can't catch a break!

Rescued by Upper Management...Grocery Store Blues Cont'd

After being gone on vacation for 10 days, I decided I would have to make a trek back to the local grocery store to replenish my deleted food supply. I stepped into the pantry, which is not a good thing. First, it's under the stairs and is not very big. Second, if I am stepping into it, it means that I have recently cleaned it(highly unlikely) or, I have completely exhausted all of my edible reserves. Actually, this not such a bad thing. I only need to make one entry on my list which is "everything"(Saved some time there). I have three weeks of Sunday paper coupons that I haven't been through and I need to clean out my expired coupons from the coupon caddy(Which is really just an old stained envelope). This takes me about two hours to do and to get myself together; so, with my coupons and my list clasped firmly within my grasp, I stride confidently out the door.(I'm not even walking down the produce aisle) As I pulled into the parking lot, the first thing that I noticed was that the lot was fairly empty. I pulled into a space 4 places from the end near the cart return area. I could have had an end spot but I like to be near the cart return thingy. I walked inside, got my cart, and the first thing I noticed was a bunch of suits purveying the scene. I guess there must have been at least 10 of them checking out the place. As I started up and down the aisles, dodging a mother with 3 screaming kids, I noticed that the suits seemed to be following me. At this, I did a self-assessment. I didn't have any toilet paper stuck to me, my fly wasn't open, I didn't have a booger swinging, I didn't know what the deal was. They were beginning to make me nervous. I reached the end of my list and I was disappointed because I had forgotten my pencil, I had wanted to mark off "everything" on my list. I rounded the last corner and there they stood. Suits of varying styles, levels and with the words Vice Presidents in all of their names and with one purpose in mind: Me! What happened next was truly quite remarkable. They wanted to know if they could use me in a demonstration of how to properly check out a customer. They swept me over to my favorite aisle, which, if you remember is aisle 9. Do you have your valued customer card? (Uuhh) Do you have any coupons? (Uuhh) What made you decide to shop with us today? (Five 12 packs of Diet coke for 11 bucks. I knew the answer to that one) The suits unloaded my cart, offered me a chair, brought me a latte and proceeded to bag my groceries properly. Cold went with the cold. Bread and eggs go on last and didn't try to stuff my entire order into 3 small bags. After this feat was accomplished, the biggest suit told the workers nearby that that was how to properly check out a customer. I walked out to the car still not quite sure what had just happened and looked at my receipt. I had spent over $248.00 on my groceries.(OMG) As I was loading my groceries into the car I noticed several of the suits coming outside loosening their ties. I was excited to have been a part of their demonstration until I heard one say to the other, "I think this new policy is going to work, keep the customer distracted so they can't look at what they have spent until they get out to the car."