Another Mother, Daughter Conversation

The following conversation took place on a recent morning when Mom called me at home in a panic. It's 28 miles to my mom's house... Me: Hello? Mom: Emergency! I gotta emergency. I need you to come right away and carry Brother to his eye surgery. I locked the keys in the car. Me: But, Mom? It's gonna take me at least 30 minutes to get there if I run out the door right now and then another 45 minutes to cross over the mountain. Mom: You can make it. You know you drive that Mustang like someone is chasing you all the time. Can you come right now? Me: I haven't even had a shower yet. Why don't you call that guy up the road? He can be there in 15 minutes. Mom: I need you to come now. Can't you come as you are? Me: Okay! Mom: Hurry! He's gotta be there by 12:30. Click! (It was 11:15 at that point) Now, there was no way in hell that I was walking out the door the way I was dressed. My hair was sweaty and matted and my legs were green. I had on mismatched socks, an old bleached out T-shirt, no bra, cut off sweats and combat boots. I'd been weed eating and had only come inside because I needed a drink. I took the fastest shower imaginable and was out the door in 8 minutes. Record time! I took the backway to Mom's house, doing 70 in a 45 mph zone the whole way. I got stuck at a traffic light about 3 miles from her house when my cell rang. Me: Hello? Mom: Never mind. I got it unlocked, where are you? Me: I'm near the Dairy Queen. Mom: Well, never mind. I don't need you now. At least you didn't have to come the whole way...

More Mother, Daughter Conversations

Mom and I have been speaking a little more than once a week on the phone. I'm not sure why we bother. The following is how the conversation usually takes place after I call her: Mom: Hello? Me: Hey Silence... ...more silence... ...followed by still more silence... Me: Hello? Mom: What? Me: Aren't you gonna say anything? Mom: I said hello! You're the one that called me, aren't you? I'm just waiting on you to tell me why you called... ...see what I mean.