Distractions At The Drive-thru

If folks in America weren't distracted enough, along comes the new requirements for restaurants that have more than 20 locations. Thanks to the new health care law these restaurants now have to list caloric content on all food products. Even at the drive-thru. Holy Crap! You can say that, again. Holy Crap! So there I was just a sittin' and awaitin' my turn in the drive-thru lane just salivating over the thought of a large chocolate milkshake from my favorite fast food joint, McDonalds. It seemed to be taking a bit longer than normal to get through the line but I wasn't complaining; I had the radio cranked and I was singing along. After what seemed like an eternity I finally reached the ordering speaker and glanced up at the menuboard. Then I took another glance. And then another. By the fourth time I was no longer glancing, I was gawking. There it was in print big enough for even those that forget to travel with their reading glasses to read: How many calories each food choice has. Huh? What? When did this happen? As I sat there in stunned silence through as least three attempts by the cashier to take my order the only thing I could manage was, "Hold on, I'm trying to read." "Oh," said the cashier. "It must be your first time through since we made the changes." "Uh, huh," I replied. "Holy crap! FRENCH FRIES HAVE THAT MANY CALORIES? I don't think I'll order that." "Was there anything in particular you wanted to know about? I have a cheat sheet here with everything listed." "I wanted to get a large chocolate shake but I can't find it listed anywhere. I must be over looking it." "Hmm, chocolate shake, large, let me see. Here it is. A large chocolate shake has 870 calories." Silence. "Did you want to order that?" More silence. "Hello? Are you still there?" "870 calories?" "Yes." "You're joking?" "No, ma'am," she said. "Did you still want to get it?" "Um, I don't think so. I think I've got some milk, cool whip and Hershey's syrup at home. It'll taste just like a chocolate milkshake." "Okay, you have a good day." As I was pulling away, I overheard the cashier talking to someone in the restaurant. "Yep, we lost another one. This keeps up too long, we're gonna be outta business." "I know that's right," she said. "You still gonna get your usual, the large fries for lunch?" "Hell no. You know how many calories those things have? I brought a salad..."