Saturday, November 30, 2013

Bon Voyage

Mom and I are off on a trip of a lifetime. We will be touring the Christmas Markets along the Danube River in Germany. Some of the highlights will be visiting Nuremburg where the war trials were held after WWII. We'll be going to Passau which is a delightful Germanic town, touring the Melk Abbey which is a very old and historic place.

We're going to take a day trip to Salzburg where they filmed The Sound of Music so I really will get to find out if the hills are alive with the sound of music. (I might have to sing a few bars to test out that theory.)

We're also going to spend some time in Vienna, Austria. I hope we get to hear some music there too.

I'm sending all of my Christmas cards from there this year, so if you get a card with a strange postmark it'll be from me.

I'll be sure and think of you when I'm looking out into space trying not to pinch myself that I am actually here and not watching a movie.

As they say over there,
Happy Christmas


Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

Here's wishing you a wonderful and blessed day!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Last Minute Details

It's almost here.

Six months ago I made a decision that would totally change my life. Hopefully, for the better.

Mom was planning on taking another of her trips of a lifetime and asked if I wanted to go. (Of course, I wanted to go. But, as the middle-aged fat woman, flying hasn't been on my radar in a long time.)

At the time, I was reluctant to take a chance. Six months wasn't that far away and I really needed to lose some weight if I wanted to go on a trip of that magnitude.

I was being wishy washy about it until one day Mom said, "You know, I ain't a spring chicken anymore. If you want to go, now is the time."

She was right. (She usually is.) I needed to get on with my life and quit hiding behind a layer of fat and what better way was there than to take a trip halfway around the world. "Yes," I said. "I'm going."

For the past six months I have eaten better, walked nearly every day (until I fell in a sink hole out back) until a few weeks ago. I've saved my money, purchased some new clothes (all of last year's winter clothes are too big), and bought myself a new camera.

My goal was to make my posterior smaller than eighteen inches when in a sitting position. (Most airplane seats are that size or smaller.) At my last measuring, I had almost reached my goal.

 We are sitting side by side and here's hoping Mom lays off the desserts for a while. Don't tell her I said so but it looks like she has put on a few pounds lately. She hasn't been taking her square dancing lessons lately because of a bum knee.

I'm already packed and ready to go.  I have been studying the German language and know a few key phrases that are important to me such as "Where is the toilet?" And "Are there any onions in that dish?"

I've packed an extra box of Zantac and a box of Pepto Bismol tablets.  I intend to try ALL of the German sausages or as many as my innards will allow.

We leave at 5:00 p.m. the Saturday after Thanksgiving from the Atlanta Airport and will arrive early the next morning. I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep on the plane or not. It's been over 28 years since I first crossed the pond; I was sick for most of that flight. It was the first time I had ever flown and my ears didn't pop for three days. I hope that doesn't happen this time around.

I won't be doing the Twelve Days of Dieting this year during the month of December on the blog. I've been dieting for six months and I intend to enjoy myself. Bring on the beer and brats!

I hope you have a great Thanksgiving and a wonderful Christmas season.  I'll be sure and post a few pics when we get back.

(And one other thing. My new book, SCRUNCHIE-FRIED, is almost ready for release.)

Until we talk again,

Auf Wiedersehen

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Placement is Everything

If you've been a follower of this fascinating blog then you know that I am an observer of many situations and problems that would otherwise go unnoticed. One such problem is handicapped parking.

Everyone knows that handicapped parking is a good idea and helps millions of folks patronize businesses that they normally wouldn't. The handicapped parking spot is great because it allows the disabled to get as close as possible to a business without actually driving inside.

But, here's the problem: Once they have finished their shopping and returned to their vehicles there isn't any place for them to return the shopping cart. I'm talking about large parking lots. Most cart returns begin at least six parking spaces down from the handicapped spots. The person is forced to choose between a spot close to the door and a spot close to the cart return.

Ever wonder why there are so many shopping carts at the beginning of a row and not in the return area? That might be the reason.

Wouldn't it be more helpful if they built a cart return area before the handicapped spaces?

Anyhow, the next time you're out in one of those large parking lots, check it out and see how close the cart return area is to the disabled parking spots. And if you notice someone trying to decide which way to go with the cart, offer to take it inside for them.

You'll make their day and probably yours, too!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

What Language Do You Speak?

Over the last few decades the United States has seen a large increase in the Hispanic population. So much so that certain cities and municipalities have put forth legislation that establishes their governed area as an "English Only" locale.

All official forms and documents will be in English only. Just because you come here doesn't mean that we're going to talk to you. If you want to talk to us, then by golly you had better speak the damn language. Comprender?

Some companies have already made the switch to include the Hispanic population. Every time I have to call an 800-number I am always asked the same question: Press one for English or press two for Spanish.

I always press one.

Sometimes I get annoyed that I can't press two. I am an English only speaking person. (I did have two years of French in high school but French is never an option.)

All of which got me to thinking: In other countries, where English is learned as a second language, when they call an 800-number, do they have to press one for their language and press two for English?

If so, do they get annoyed that they have to press one?


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