It's been over three weeks since my birthday and I still haven't recieved my present. Mom said she hasn't received hers either.
We were just wondering if they got lost in the mail or something?
Your loving mom and sister.
Ma Fat Woman
Friday, April 30, 2010
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 3 comments
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Plenty Of Time
|I've had twenty-five years to plan and be ready for my 25th high school reunion. If you look over to the right side of the blog you can see that I placed a new counter. It tells me that I have a little over thirty days left.
Did I plan accordingly? (no)
Did I lose my stop smoking weight gain? (no)
Have I become a published author yet? (sorta)
Did I do everything I said I wanted to? (who can remember)
Have I changed much? (Depends on how you define change; I'm in year 3 of the change)
How many wrinkles do I have? (a few)
Have you concocted a Michelle & Romy story about creating PostIts so you don't look like a failure? (working on it)
Are you sure you are having a reunion? (I think so. I mention it on Facebook and people literally shrink away in horror and revulsion.)
Will the old high school still be standing by the time you get there? (I sure hope so)
Will the old clicks and groups still be intact? (I hope not. I didn't drive 500 miles to put up with junior high drama--get over it already.)
How many people will show up? (Good question. We had 64 people in my class. Maybe 20)
How many reunions have you been to? (Two. Tenth and twentieth. I was drunk and smoked at one and smoked at the other. Now, I don't do either.)
One last question. (okay)
Are you still excited about going?
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 1 comments
Labels: 25 yr class reunions, high school reunions
Monday, April 26, 2010
Just Driving By
|I've always been amazed at the different outfits people will wear. Back in the day, early to mid 80s, parachute pants, Members Only jackets and pinstripe pants were mainstays in mine and many of my friends' closets. Sweater vests, puffy and ruffled shirts and gold Disco belts were also required wardrobe items.
Today, anything pretty much goes.
Baggy pants, skinny jeans, chubby chicks with muffin tops, spaghetti strap tops with bra straps hanging out; it's a common site nowadays. Need to run to the store for bread and milk but you are in your pajamas? Not a problem, people do it everyday.
One piece of clothing that I have never gotten excited about was miniskirts. I'm not sure why; but it might have to do with the fact that I have always been a member of thunder thigh high and I like to keep my butt covered up.
The other day when I was driving home I passed by a house with a lady unloading a child from the back seat of a car. Her back was to the road and she was wearing a miniskirt. The planets must have been lined up perfectly because at the exact time I drove past, she bent over and the dress went up.
All I saw was a crack before I had to swerve the Mustang back into my lane and pick my jaw up off the floor. I don't know if she thought because she was in her own driveway that she didn't happen to worry about what she was or wasn't wearing or what.
I'm sure she hadn't intended on flashing the MA Fat Woman.
Mom always said to make sure you had on clean underwear whenever you left the house in case you were in an accident.
I guess with today's anything goes attitude, the advice should be changed to just make sure you have underwear on.
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 5 comments
Labels: fashion trends, flashed, miniskirts, thunder thighs
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Bye, Bye Birthday Contest Winner
|We have a winner! Five players correctly guessed the sayings inside the cards. They were Jenn, always in the back row, Winchester, Marla and Sharkbyte.
Since it was a tie, I put the successful guessers' names in a hat and drew out SHARKBYTE!.
Thanks to everyone that played and according to my word, the cars went out with this morning's trash.
A. ...so I farted in this card!
I had a really great birthday!
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 PM 5 comments
Labels: birthday games, contest winner
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Piece Of Junk
|I had called the repair guy about the lawnmower and told him I was going to be gone for most of the day and that the mower was around back of the house. He could just load it up and take it with him to see if he could work some 'repairman magic' (his words) on it.
So yesterday, either I was a little late or he was extremely early because I was in the shower when I heard the mower start up. I tried to hurry and finish what I was doing but I had just applied Nair to my upper lip and legs and was just finishing up my weekly fifteen minute deep cleansing hair moisturiser treatment. I do like to pamper myself or at least keep my face clear of all facial hair that keeps springing up on a regular basis.
Anyhow, by the time I got to the window to peek outside all I heard was, "That's a three hundred part and I might give her 25 bucks for it. It might be good for scrap. Damn wheels are locked up tight. We can't push that thing up the hill. Come on, let's go." And with that, they were gone.
I had errands to do and it was early evening before I got back home. I called the repair guy and he said it needed a new transmission and the cost for the part and labor was about $350. If I didn't want to do that he would buy it from me for about 25 dollars and he could use it for parts.
I told him I had to think about it. I want Brother to come and look at it again. I was able to get the blasted thing to go in reverse for about 10 feet before it locked up again so it makes me wonder if it really is the transmission. I called the junkyard and they said it was worth $8.50 per hundred pounds. That's about the same price the repair guy said he would give me for it. It must be a conspiracy or something.
I really think that I bought a lemon. I brought it brand new from Lowe's and mowed one season before it stopped working the first time. It still had and still has nubby things on the tires. That's been three years ago, it was out of warranty and I'm thinking its time has come: Off to the junkyard, I say. Be gone! Farewell! Good riddance!
Meanwhile, my lawn continues to grow at an astonishing rate...and did I mention that my pushmower has stopped working too?
Last chance to get in on the Bye, Bye Birthday contest.
Posted by Gianetta at 10:51 AM 0 comments
Labels: buying a lemon, junky lawn mowers
Monday, April 19, 2010
Bye, Bye Birthday Contest Update
|I'm just taking a break from fighting with my lawnmower, and needless to say, I'm not winning. If I can't fix it or if Brother can't fix it them I'm taking it to the junkyard for scrap.
I could probably get $50 for it and put that toward the John Deere I've been ogling over for about six months.
Anyhow, if you haven't already done so I encourage you to get your guesses in for the Bye, Bye Birthday contest. I'll be picking the winner this week.
(If you hear loud screaming and yelling, don't worry, it's just me fighting with the mower.)
Posted by Gianetta at 3:00 PM 0 comments
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Seens At The Flea Market
|I've started selling my yard sale stuff at the flea market lately. I seem to enjoy it better than having a sale at my house. I guess it's easier in some way. I've met all sorts of interesting folks and I told you about some of them in Sharing a Tailgate a while back.
Flea marketing is a lot of fun, and some days, you can make some cold hard cash. It depends on what you got to sell and if somebody wants it. Trust me, people will buy anything.
If you've been visiting for a while you know that I like to tell you about the seens that I have seen from various places. Yes, I spell it that way on purpose. No, I ain't ignorant. I just like to and it's my blog so I'll do what I want to. (I'm not sure if C Smith 202, Mrs. Russell and Mrs. Rosselot are reading, but you never know. Those were my high school and college grammar teachers and they really did learn me good.)
So, back to the flea market. It was during a slow period and this fella, late 5Os, unshaven, pop bottle glasses with a John Deere cap perched on his head wandered by the table and gave me a nod. "How ya doin'?" I asked.
"Fine," he muttered. He was looking over my table and I noticed that he was mumbling to himself. The only thing that I could really understand was the word shit.
"What'd ya say?"
"I said nobody gives a shit anyway, so why tell'em how you feel."
I thought that was so funny that I started laughing and found myself agreeing with him. I told him I was a good listener and would be happy to listen to how he really felt.
He was silent for a moment, touched the brim of his cap and said this to me. "Ma'am I really was feeling poorly, but you perked me up. Thanks for asking about me, whether you meant it or not, I sure do appreciate it."
I guess the moral of this story is be careful what you ask. One day they might really tell you how they feel and you might just make somebody's day.
Posted by Gianetta at 2:53 PM 6 comments
Labels: flea market, listening to others
Friday, April 16, 2010
Bye, Bye Birthday Contest
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 9 comments
Labels: contests, old birthday cards
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I No Hard Of Hearing
|I had to pop into the post office the other day to mail off a few packages and got behind a Hispanic couple that had wanted to rent a post office box. This is the following conversation that took place:
Clerk: Hi, may I help you?
Hispanic male: Ola'! We want rent box?
Clerk: I'm sorry. You want to send a box?
Hisp male: Si. We want to box.
Clerk in a slightly louder voice: I'm sorry. Where do you want to send the box? Do you have the box packaged already?
With that, the slightly confused couple looked at each other, grinned widely and the female said, "Box."
The clerk, obviously already having a bad day said in a still LOUDER voice: Where do you want to send the box?
Couple: Si. (smiling and nodding their heads)
Clerk absolutely screaming at this point: WHERE DO YOU WANT TO SEND THE BOX? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? WHERE IS THE BOX GOING?
Hisp male: Ooooh. Here. (And with that he handed over the P.O. box rental application.)
The clerk now understood that he didn't want to send a box, he wanted to rent a box and walked away in a snit to get the process started. The couple began having a conversation in Spanish and I didn't understand any of what they were saying until the man turned around and caught my eye. He looked at me thoughtfully for a second and said, "Why was that lady yelling at me? I no hard of hearing? I just want box."
I just shrugged my shoulders because I have been guilty of that, too. Has that ever happened to you? Have you tried to communicate with someone that speaks another language and found yourself almost yelling at them because they just don't get what you're saying?
Language barriers can be funny and frustrating at the same time.
Posted by Gianetta at 12:27 PM 5 comments
Labels: language barriers, yelling at foreignors
Monday, April 12, 2010
How Do You Express Joy?
|People express their happiness in different ways. I was flipping channels the other day and ended up in the religious section. My cable company provides me with over 15 religious stations and each presents services that everyone seems to enjoy.
It got me thinking about the different ways people express their joy.
On one channel I watched a lady raise her hand repeatedly and say, "You tell 'em, Reverend. They need to hear the message."
The next channel had a lady stomping her foot and yelling "Amen, brother!"
Another fellow was answering the preacher every time he asked the congregation a question and saying, "I am Father."
One station had everybody running up and down the aisles and speaking in a language that I didn't understand.
They showed one little old lady sitting in her seat, eyes closed and nodding her head in unison with everything the preacher said.
Another station had the pianist playing behind the reverend and pounding on the keys whenever he got excited.
Watching all of these stations got me to thinking about how really different people are and how they express their joy. Some are afraid to make any noise and sit quietly while others just run the aisles and let it all hang out.
It's the same in real life, I think, too. Some are content to sit and watch the world go by and others grab it by the horn and hang on for dear life. So, I ask, how do you express your joy?
Me, I think I do a little of everything.
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 2 comments
Labels: expressing joy
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Working Out With Ross Perot
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 4 comments
Labels: joining a gym, lookalike, Ross Perot
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 2 comments
Labels: crossword puzzles, loogie, NY Times crossword, snot
Sunday, April 4, 2010
It's My Birthday...Year II
Posted by Gianetta at 12:04 AM 16 comments
Labels: Fat woman birthday
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