Almost Wordless Wednesday

...titty pink

Lighten Up

If you're a regular to this blog you might be a little startled by the new background. You could be wondering if you are even on the correct blog. What's up with the MA Fat Woman? What's she into now? You see, I've changed my mind (isn't that just like a woman)about the oppressive black background, that I needed a change and I told myself to lighten up. So, I did! Out with the old, in with the new. I might be making some other changes too. Not right away, this new background is gonna take some gettin' used to. If you're like me, a little change goes a long way. I've never quite figured out how I've become so set in my ways. One small change can open the door to a whole new way of reflecting on things. Let me know what you think! MA Fat Woman

It's My Lucky Day...Year II

****This was what I posted last year on my lucky day. It didn't turn out as lucky as I would have wanted. So, I'm giving it another whirl. Maybe, better luck this year...year 2! Today, August 22, is the luckiest day of the year for me. If something exciting is supposed to happen, it usually happens on this day. I can't remember the specific events (okay, maybe I can, but a girl has to have some secrets) but I do know that it was on this date. I do remember that I got my wisdom teeth pulled on this date in 1989. I know that wasn't lucky but I did get to eat mashed potatoes for every meal for a few days. And luckily, my favorite food is mashed potatoes. I think I am going to try my lucky numbers on the lottery this evening. The problem is that I have to pick five numbers and I only have two: Eight for August and twenty-two for the twenty-second. That means that I will only get two out of five numbers and you don't win anything with just two correct. But, since it is my lucky day, I might get the other three numbers as well. I'm a winner and I didn't even know it. Now, what am I going to do with all that cash?

I Knew You...

...but, I don't know you. It seems like everybody and their brother is now utilizing the new social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. I am on both of those sites and so is Brother; however, we are not friends. And that's okay. I have yet to jump into the world of Twitter. I'm not sure if fans of the MA Fat Woman really want to know when I walk into a men's room by mistake or get chased down my driveway by my crazy neighbor as it actually happens. That would take the fun and enjoyment away that I experience when I sit down and rehash the whole story as I pound away on my Commodore 360. Since I have an addictive personality I'm sure that if I joined Twitter I would become obbessed. After all, who doesn't want to know when Ashton Kutcher or Big Daddy Shaq goes to take a dump. I know I do and I'm not joking. When I was a child and I would watch television I always wondered if Hollywood people went to the bathroom. Thanks to Twitter I now know the answer to that question! One less thing to worry about. As for people from the past coming back into your life I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. I have approved and been approved by people that I knew when I was younger. I've read reports on Facebook etiquette that it's okay not to approve an Ex or someone that was detrimental to you in the past. Once a psycho, always a wacko, stay away from me is not a bad policy to live by. As for those friends that somehow just drifted away over the years I can honestly say that I knew you...but, I don't know you now. It's great to hear from you and I'm glad you're still alive and kicking. I'll say hi and it would be nice if you said hi back. I don't want to know your waist size, your butt size or how many beers you can drink on a Friday night. Yes, we've both changed a lot since back then, no, I don't get home much, and I may or may not be going to the reunion. Remember when we used to do this and you used to be skinny. Yes, I remember those days, and hopefully, one day, I will be again. I'll say it again. I knew you... ...but, I don't know you now. Nor, do I want too! Let's just leave things in the past, shall we? Can we still be friends?

Wordless Wednesday...What Color Is It?

Car Trouble...Part V

We drove about a mile up the road before hair guy pulled off to the side of the road. There, he put his foot on the brake and revved up the engine with the car in drive. Errrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkk! That's the sound my new tires made as he listened to the noises that the engine was making. "There ain't nothin' wrong with your transmission; it's the engine. Hear that? That sputtering? It's missing. When's the last time you had a tuneup?" he asked. "I've never had a tuneup," I replied. "All you need is some new spark plugs and wires, I'll clean out the fuel filter. It still could be the coil package (What's that?). I got this computer (he does) that will run all of the diagnostics and help narrow it down. It's gonna be a couple hours though, we got a lot of irons in the fire right now. You can wait in the office, but watch those stools, they lean a little...big girl like you might not be to comfortable." Relieved once again that it wasn't the transmission I let the comment about the "big girl" slide. I didn't want to piss this man off. I needed him to fix my car. Over the next few hours I watched and listened to the happenings in this place that was totally foreign to me. There were several men hanging around getting their vehicles worked on and they liked to talk. In fact, hair guy liked to talk too! I don't know how they got any work done, but between muffled guffaws and spits of chewing tobacco those vehicles being repaired were flying out of the place. Hair guy had walked into the office one time and told me how things were going. Noticing all of the pictures and trophies of the old cars I asked him if he had ever been up to the Cruise in that Mom and I had went to a few weeks ago. Of course, I told him all the details and especially that these cars cruise up and down the road, not just set in a parking lot with the hoods up. "I might have to check it out," he said. "Write down the information for me." A while later he came back in and told me that I was ready to go. My engine had in fact been missing. (Mom was right) He had installed new plugs and wires, cleaned the fuel throttle and replaced the air filter. He told me at first that it was going to be $275 but since I had tipped him off about the Cruise in up in Kentucky he would only charge me $250. (Worked for me.) As I was getting ready to leave we started chit chatting about old cars. "What kind of car do you have?" I asked. "I gotta '57 Chevy," he said. "You wanna see it?" "Sure!" "Follow me," he said. We walked back through the service area and through a door that I hadn't previously seen. In the room was car parts of all kinds and in the back corner, under a tarp, sat the Chevy. As he reached to pull off the cover he paused slightly, "I know what you're gonna say. What color is that? I don't want to offend you or anything but its got an unusual name." Somehow, I already knew what the color of that car was going to be. Yep, it was titty pink!

Car Trouble...Part IV

I called Mom on the way to let her know what was going on. "Didn't sound like the transmission to me," she said. It's missing, you ever had that thing tuned up?" "It's not a thing, Mom. It's a Mustang!" I said. "Whatever, I know what a car sounds like when it's missing. You better hope it's missing and not the transmission. That'll set you back at least 4 grand. Where you gonna get that kind of money? If you still worked at the Post Office, you might've had the money. I know you wanted to pursue your dream of being a writer and wanted something a little more interesting than selling stamps, but, I bet you didn't think that you was gonna need a new transmission. Well, I gotta go to Bingo. Call me if you need me to come get you while they work on your car." Click! I pulled into the parking lot of the Ford transmission guy's shop and walked into a place that was straight out of a movie. No doubt about it, this place was a garage. The office, if you could call it that, had a torn, black leather couch and two bar stools that leaned slightly to the left. On the walls, was picture after picture of souped up cars and a cabinet filled with trophies and ribbons from various car shows. As I peered into the service area, I could see various cars in differing stages of being worked on. I saw the usual Mac tool toolboxes, air hoses, and grease rags strewn about the place and a couple of girlie calendars placed in strategic locations, supposedly only visible to the mechanics. As I was standing there, a man, small in stature, but big in hair (he looked like he was from an 80s hair band) (watch out, Def Leppard) walked up to me and said, "Can I hep ya with somethin'?" "I hear you're the guy to see about a Ford Mustang transmission," I replied. "What's the problem?" I told him what was going on and how I had made my way to see him and finally he said, "Well, what we waitin' for? Let's take her for a spin and see what she'll do." And for the second time that day, my car laid rubber down as she was taken out for another spin...