More Words To Live By

This is another forwarded email that I received. It has some good information and I have added a few of my own. Feel free to list your own words to live by! 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Brother's Birthday...Year III

Now, it's time for another birthday. My big brother is celebrating his birthday today. His nickname is Boy, sometimes called Big Boy. Boy is a fan of WW II and can give you all the information ever needed if you are building a house since he has a background in construction. He taught me how to play football, throw a baseball for a perfect strike (complete with a full wind up) and how to play chess. He also taught me how to chew tobacco, scratch my butt, cuss a blue streak, burp the alphabet, throw cow patties, use the tractor and manure spreader to drive to town for hot dogs and Sour Cream Doritos when Mom and Dad were working, castrate a hog and spit and catch loogies. Most of these tricks I have since out grown! (Most) However, it is good knowledge to have. You never know when you might need to do some castrating. So here's to you! Happy Birthday!

Snow Day Adventures

Old Glory waving in the snow. Christmas decorations yet to be put away. Birds are all snowed in. Holly bush and berries straining under the weight of the snow. Old barn. Tree. Another shot of the barn. Wind chime. Hard at work! Stove pipe fell down from the falling snow from the roof. Where it used to be attached to the house. Just missed Friend's truck. How the new cat spent the day! I think I'll hang out with the new cat tomorrow; he had the best day of all!

Birthday Wishes...Year III

Today is my sister's birthday. In case anyone wants to know, her nickname is Big Red. Yep, she's got red hair and a fierceness to go along with it. She resides in the frigid north where it snows all the time. Yuck! I won't tell you how old she is (39) because that wouldn't be sisterly. She is older than me though. Happy Birthday Sister! May you have many more and continue to do things that make me laugh. MAFW P.S. Your present is still on my counter waiting to be mailed.

Are Wii Ready To Play...Part II

...So anyway, I'm not quite sure how it happened. Either I saved a whole bunch of money this year buying my gifts at the flea market and yard sales or returned all of the clothing that I had supposedly grown back into and was no where close to fitting me yet (Sorry, Mom and Sister) that I am now the proud owner of my very own Wii gaming system. Of course, I couldn't figure out how to set it up; I had to call Friend over to do that. I was somewhat helpful; I did get to clean under the television stand and hold the flashlight. The first thing I noticed about the controller was that there was only two or three buttons that had to be mashed. And most games that I have played so far you just have to swing your arm in the direction you want the ball/object to go. Talk about easy. Talk about realistic. I'm so hooked on the bowling game that I threw my back out and had to spend two days on the heating pad with my feet propped up. Personally, I think the damn thing is too realistic. Do you know why? I'm left-handed and I have a hook on my ball that even Earl Weaver would be proud of. So much so that when I do venture out to a bowling alley I bowl right-handed. One can only stand so many gutter balls. Would you believe the Wii copies my hook? Exactly. The ball starts on the left side of the lane and by the time it reaches the pins has crossed to the right side and rolls into the gutter. Time. After time. After time. I guess once my back gets better, I'll switch to something else. Maybe something that won't result in bodily injury or bedrest. Golf, anyone?

Are Wii Ready To Play...Part I

I've always liked arcade games. At least I used to until they put so many different buttons and knobs that you have to push simultaneously, or singularly, or randomly, or intermittently or whatever while constantly pumping quarters or tokens into the slot. Back in the day, or the mid 80s, games like Galaga, Centipede, Pacman, Qubert, Space Invaders, and my favorite, Tempest, had basically one or two movements: A left-right (controller) motion with one hand and an up-down (trigger)with the other. Quite simple, yes, but I bet there are a lot of folks out there that can remember how sore their wrists became and developed a callus or two from spending hours playing those crazy games. My neighbors, the Alexander's, had an Atari system and we spent many sleepless nights during sleepovers playing Pitfall, Frogger and Asteroids. I loved spending the night there. As I've blossomed into middle age I have tried to keep up with the gaming industry. (Without much luck) I have a Nintendo 64 gathering dust in a closet somewhere. I have the newer Atari gaming system that came out a few years ago stuck underneath the guest room bed. I just had to have the Xbox when it came out a few years ago and I don't even know where it is at the moment. To me, there was just too many buttons to push, and even though the vibrating controller was exciting, I was so unskilled at the games and I got tired of playing at the same level, that I chucked it somewhere. Lately, all of the attention seems to be about the Wii. The what? I know, when I first heard about it, I was like what's a Wii? And the first commercials didn't help either. Two Asian men showing up in folks' living rooms with outer space looking gadgets. What are we? The Jetsons? Ruttro!...

Happy New Year

Happy New Year from all of us at Reflections On A Middle-Aged Fat Woman! We hope you have a safe and prosperous year! Do something kind for your self and others and take the time to have a laugh! Cheers! Gianetta