Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Things I Have Always Wanted To Say

I’m madder than hell and I ain’t gonna take it anymore!
(I don’t like to curse)

Take this job and shove it!
(Wait, I already said that)

Mom, I’m moving back home!
(Surprise)

Hey Dubya, end this war now!
(Before anyone else dies)

No thank you, I don’t care for any dessert.
(Mmmmm, cake)

Can somebody please CHANGE the theme of this year’s election?
(I’ll be glad when it’s over)

Hey McCain, you old goat!
(Insert your own comment here)

Hey Obama, you got a 50/50 shot, why don’t you talk about the other side.
(Ditto)

Hey Palin, what does moose taste like?
(Insert your own comment)

I think I need a smaller size.
(Not gonna happen)

When I grow up, I want to be a writer.
(What, are you a moron)

Do you want fries with that?
(Super size please)

I wonder what kind of curling iron Conan O’Brian uses to make his hair go flop flop?
(Is he really going to replace Leno)

And finally, the top thing that I have always wanted to say: Hey God, it’s me, the MA Fat Woman, we sure could use some help down here, this world is falling apart.

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