Gluttons For Punishment

You know how they say too much of a good thing can kill you, they’re right. We couldn’t leave things well enough alone. Since Mom and I had so much fun at our last yard sale we decided to do it again. I know what you’re thinking—MA Fat Woman, you must be crazy. I think I am a little. We weren’t nearly as successful as we were the last time. We did all right on Saturday, so we thought let’s have it on Sunday. We had four people show up. You heard me, four. That wasn’t even worth getting out of bed or even worth putting on a bra. I should have gone to church. I really think the only reason we even decided to continue our yard sale on Sunday was because we didn’t want to clean up all of our leftover junk. We had been up since the break of dawn; I think we were even up before the roosters began to crow. We had organized, placed stickers on this and that, we went through a case of Diet Soda to keep our engines running. We were revved up. Finally, about 6:00 PM, I told mom that it was time to take down the signs so we could relax for a few hours. As we sat relaxing in our matching recliners she was reading my local paper. All of a sudden, she shouts at me that there was an auction going on uptown. Wouldn’t it be a good idea if we went and bought some items and then turned around and sold them at the yard sale tomorrow? It sounded like a good idea at the time. We bought enough junk to fill up the Mustang and I even had to find another table to set things out on. Never in my life would I have ever imagined that only four people would show up to my yard sale. Here’s the kicker: I now have more junk than when I first started and nowhere to store any of it. As we were putting stuff away I opined to Mom about my current storage problems. “Well, you know, we could have another sale next weekend,” she said. “It would be a good way of getting rid of some more junk, plus, I think they are having another auction. You wanna go?”