The Kitten In The Basement

My house has an earthen basement. It's accessible by opening two large doors, a normal outside entrance and several windows. It's possible for things to get in there that don't belong by crawling under one of the big doors or going through a broken window. I don't go down there very often; it's kinda creepy. Last weekend I heard the unmistakable cries of baby kittens coming from the basement. They were very loud and wouldn't stop meowing so I went to investigate. It was only one kitten and he was very small. He barely had his eyes open but when he saw me he started toward me without any hesitation. This was trouble and I knew it. Without going into long detail which I have done in the past I can tell you that there are feral cats in my neighborhood. My neighbor lady that died recently was the main caretaker for these cats. She fed them regularly and they would only come to my house when she was out of town. I've shown pictures of my cat and he is an inside cat. We do like to sit on the porch and he will take a walk around the property sometimes, usually to pee in the woods, but he is never unattended. And he never gets close to any of the wild cats because I don't want him to catch anything. He had a girlfriend but she died in 2005, he's been the top cat since then. Periodically, over the next two days I would go back to the basement to check on the kitten. I never saw his mother. I had picked him up and he would crawl all over me; he was trying to nurse. One night he crawled out of the basement and up three steps. I heard him crying and took him back to the basement. Still no sign of a mother cat. It's a very difficult decision whether to bring a new life into your household. The cat and I have our routine and we are pretty much stuck in our ways, but there was something about this baby, this kitten in the basement. The next morning I went to check on Little Max as I had begun to call him and he wasn't in very good shape. In fact, I thought he had died. I picked him up and he moved just a little. Over the next several hours I fed him through an eyedropper and decided that I would bring him into the house and would keep him separated from the cat. He made a remarkable turnaround and I continued to feed him every three hours over the next two days. My cat was becoming accustomed to all the noise that Little Max was making and had even stopped growling whenever I went into the other room where I was keeping them apart. He was becoming curious and wanted to sniff every part of me whenever I came back into the room after a visit with Max. There's something about being around a new life that just seems to make you happy; it did me anyway. I had to go away for several hours and when I got home I went straight in to check on Max. He wasn't doing very well. I was surprised. I was mad. I was pissed. How could this be happening? I started crying and begging for the life of this little kitten. This little baby that was trying to work his way into my calm and boring life. My tears and prayers didn't work. Little Max died right there, right in my hands. Could it have been prevented? Did I not feed him enough? Could the Vet have saved him? Did he have something wrong with him from birth and that's why his mom abandoned him? Why are you so upset, you only had him for two days? These are some of the questions that I have been asking myself for the last few days. I don't know the answer to any of them and probably never will... ...it's been three days, shouldn't I be able to stop crying by now?