Malfuction Junction

I've started paying closer attention to my expenses lately and that included taking a closer look at my communication services. It seems that I have been paying 10 cents a minute for long distance on my home home and $34.95 a month for my DSL 3 mbs internet service. Both, I thought were a pretty good deal until I started reading some of the junk mail that my phone company keeps sending me. Harrumph! Basically, I can now get free long distance and twice the speed for my connection at half the price. Sounds like a great deal, right? So, I switched. Well, guess where I am now? I'm at the library because for the last two weeks my internet connection hasn't worked properly, I'm still paying for long distance and I still don't have caller id. I would call the phone company and complain but the phone line doesn't seem to be working either and I don't know the number anyway. I can't look it up online and I don't have a phonebook because as a cost cutting measure you don't automatically receive phone books, you have to request them. Nice. If it doesn't get resolved soon, I'm gonna have to go over to my crazy neighbor's house, Merlethem Shatz, and use her phone, which is kind of like having all your teeth pulled: the best part about the whole visit is when you get to leave. Keep your fingers crossed!