Clairol Number 9

It seems that for some reason lately, I have more gray hair than my natural blond/brown color. It could be that I am a middle-aged woman and that's what happens when you get older. It's a rare sight indeed to see a woman in her advanced years that hasn't had a chemical enhancement or two to maintain her youthful looks. A nip here, a tuck there, and in my case, a bottle of Clairol #9. I used to get my hair lightened at the hair salon, but at over a hundred dollars a pop, in this economy, it seems a bit frivolous. So I did the next best thing: went to the new Walmart and picked up a box to color my own hair at home. Honestly, I was a bit nervous about home coloring. I hoped it wouldn't turn out like the home perm that I received in 1984. Mom said it would be fine and I believed her. The perm didn't turn out very well. Ever heard the term "You look like you stuck your finger in a light socket?" Well, that's what my hair looked like. It was frazzled and fried. I had to go to school for three days looking like a wild child before I got all of my hair cut off. I went from a sleek looking Pat Benatar look to the mellow and slightly kooky look of Annie Lennox. And when you're a junior in high school too much personal change can make for a very bad day. I followed the instructions on the box and within an hour I had a totally new look. During the thirty minutes or so that I had the chemicals on my head, the new cat kept following me around with a puzzled expression. I'm not sure if he didn't recognize me or was just concerned about the smell. It stunk up the whole house! According to the color comparisons on the box, someone with my hair color could expect to end up with shiny, golden blond highlights. It didn't quite turn out that way. There isn't a speck of blond anywhere, unless you count strawberry blond as blond. To me, it's red. We already got one redhead in the family, and that's Sister, or as we like to call her: Big Red! I guess I can't be too upset about it, I only paid about 10 bucks for the coloring kit and it only lasts 8 weeks. The gray is gone and I get to look like Annie! Just don't expect me to break out in song...at least not today...maybe tomorrow.