|I had just returned from my mini vacation and was enjoying the early summer heat (not) when Mom called.
Mom: Whatcha' doin'?
MAFW: Whew! I'm sweating like a whore in church.
Mom: Holy Crap! You swear worse than your dad did; you know that's not very ladylike and I taught you better than that.
MAFW: Sometimes you can't use the nice words when a bad one fits so perfectly.
Mom: What? Are you making up stuff again? It sure is hot, ain't it. I bet you were glad to be back in your own home playing musical air conditioners, aren't ya? Are you having another hot flash? *snort
MAFW: What did you want?
Mom: I don't know. You called me blubbering about sweating in church or something.
MAFW: I'm not a 'ho.
Mom: Lord, you better not be. I'd pull you up by the hair on your head...
Mom: Listen here, MYMY...don't you get smart with me...if you're so hot why don't you go stick your head in the freezer like you did when you was a kid. I gotta go, Jeopardy is on. Click!