After The Fact

I, along with thousands of other folks became a fan of "Get Betty White to Host SNL" on Facebook a few months ago. And, amazingly enough, SNL listened. From the reviews that I read, everyone said it was a knockout and the ratings were through the roof. The ratings were high, yes, and why shouldn't they have been? Betty is a great comedic actress and at times, her punchlines can rival Bob Hope or George Burns. She is funny, really, really funny. Saturday Night Live...not so much. The skit that I liked the best was about the Census worker (I wonder why?) and it was the very last one of the show. The opening skit (about Lawrence Welk) was funny, but after that, you lost me. The whole Macgruber thing was just strange. Now, I'm not a comedic writer (a paid one, anyway) but even I could have come up with something that might have gotten a laugh. What about a skit about the Mary Tyler Moore show? Shoot, most of those guys are still alive; a skit about Seniors trying to do the news. I can see it now: Anchors going into cardiac arrest talking about sports or having their false teeth fall out when they catch a glimpse of the newest weather girl. Anyhow, Betty was on the Tonight Show a few days later and told Jay that she was glad that was over, she had been very nervous. Now, the rumors are going around that they are trying to get her to host the Academy Awards. All I can say is WOW! I'd tune in to watch that. On another note, on Facebook, they are now trying to get fans to jump on board with "Get Carol Burnett to host SNL". I totally agree with that, she's funny. As a MA Fat Woman, I am almost at the age where I don't matter anymore, age 44. According to all of the researchers, ages 25-44 are the top spenders and after that, well, folks just tend to fade away into the distance, their money unspent. Somebody better wake the hell up because that is totally NOT true. SNL is on the right track by letting someone other than a 22 yr old blond, bimbo that has starred on a reality show host the program and whose only qualifications are giving oral sex to the producers. Barbie, you're not funny, give it up! Hey, Lorne? You're an old guy, too! There are lots of other older stars out there that would be great hosting Saturday Night Live. You can start with Carol Burnett, then Eddie Murphy, Goldie Hawn, Whoopi, Billy Crystal, the list goes on and on...

Boing Boing Boing...Maybe It Is Only Four Inches

Goodness! The Olympics sure have been exciting haven't they? I was watching the men's gymnastics individual finals this evening when the floor exercises were being televised. I like the high bar the best, but I like to watch the floor exercise just as much because of the short shorts. I'm not a pervert or anything; I just like to look at those great hamstring muscles. I'm not sure why they wear long pants in some events and the short shorts in others. There is a particular move that all of the gymnasts seem to perform. It is where they have done a tumbling pass and have landed in the splits. (Ouch) The gymnast will then force his body into a slow handstand with legs spread wide. It seems that most of the times the camera will draw back or away from any close-ups during this particular move. I think I know why. Something, I can't be sure, smiled at me. I'm not sure if I had blinked wrong or a good luck charm fell out. Maybe, something wasn't tightened properly? Or, perhaps, he had grabbed the wrong uniform? All I know, is I could hear the guys in the truck yelling, "Pull back, Pull back, and cut to Bob Costas." Chubby and the Checkers were still doing the twist after completion of that last somersault. I don't think I was intentionally looking for something that I wasn't supposed to see, or maybe I was. Of course, no one ever admits to looking, but we all do. Has anyone ever told you that your fly was undone? How did they know if they weren't looking? What about the old toilet paper sticking out of your pants? Well, maybe not that one, that's just too dang funny to tell someone about. So, my point is this: I believe I got flashed this evening. I can't remember which athlete it was, because I was in shock. I saw something go boing, boing, boing and I might have liked what I saw. Hey NBC, can you show it again, this time in slow motion? I need to measure something.

08-08-08...The Olympics Are Coming To NBC

This date is embedded in my brain. NBC officials have been spouting this for the last ten years. On 08-08-08, tune in for the opening ceremonies of the blah blah blah Olympics. Don't get me wrong, I love to watch sports of all kinds. But, what I can't stand is when the Olympics are in a time zone on the other side of the world, the media has already reported the winners of that day's races before I get to watch them in primetime. I already know that Michael Phelps won a gold medal in swimming. (He's supposed to win 8) I know the Redeem Team beat Switzerland 245-24 in the first round of basketball. I know that at least 5 people daily are testing positive for some form of doping and will have to give back their gold medals. I know that Coca Cola and Visa are proud sponsors of this year's Olympic Games. I already know that one East German male athlete will turn out to be a female. (Wait, that was a flashback from the 70's) And, I already know that an Olympic marathon is 26.2 miles and will probably be won by someone from Kenya. I know the Olympics start on August 08, 2008. I'll probably be watching events that I already know the outcome of before it even starts. Tell me something I don't know. Tell me what China is doing to solve the Tibet situation? Tell me what China is doing to control the amount of pollution that they are producing each day? Tell me what China is doing to make its exports safer for American consumers? (In case you haven't looked at a label lately, everything practically comes from China) Tell me what the Communist leadership of China is doing to protect the rights of protesters? (Jailing them) What about Taiwan? Okay NBC, you got my attention about 08-08-08, I have bought into the hype. I'll be watching. How about a report on one of the topics I mentioned? Better hurry though, because once the Olympics have started and you are actually reporting from China, you won't be allowed to say anything at all.