Happy Thanksgiving...Year II

***Enjoy this classic Thanksgiving post*** It's a few hours before the meal and I'm already stuffed. No, I'm not the turkey. I almost had a major meltdown earlier over the deviled eggs. You wouldn't think that it would be that hard to boil eggs and then peel the shells but somewhere there was a major breakdown in this process. The shells would not come off the eggs and I had to take a butter knife and chip the shells off. This process resulted in four different opinions as to why the shells would not come off more easily. Mom says that the eggs were too fresh and that was the reason the shells were difficult to remove. Sister says the eggs needed to be at room temperature before they were boiled. Niece says the eggs probably came from the chickens outside and have been buried out behind the outhouse for the last few years. The MA Fat Woman didn't say anything but just kept swearing under her breath. Brother says the eggs weren't boiled long enough and the shells needed to be removed promptly after boiling. After this discussion which took almost an hour it was time to make the deviled egg mixture. Again, an hour to discuss how to make the mixture and four differing opinions. If we're having this much trouble with the eggs I can hardly wait until it's time to mash the potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving

***Enjoy this classic Thanksgiving post*** It's a few hours before the meal and I'm already stuffed. No, I'm not the turkey. I almost had a major meltdown earlier over the deviled eggs. You wouldn't think that it would be that hard to boil eggs and then peel the shells but somewhere there was a major breakdown in this process. The shells would not come off the eggs and I had to take a butter knife and chip the shells off. This process resulted in four different opinions as to why the shells would not come off more easily. Mom says that the eggs were too fresh and that was the reason the shells were difficult to remove. Sister says the eggs needed to be at room temperature before they were boiled. Niece says the eggs probably came from the chickens outside and have been buried out behind the outhouse for the last few years. The MA Fat Woman didn't say anything but just kept swearing under her breath. Brother says the eggs weren't boiled long enough and the shells needed to be removed promptly after boiling. After this discussion which took almost an hour it was time to make the deviled egg mixture. Again, an hour to discuss how to make the mixture and four differing opinions. If we're having this much trouble with the eggs I can hardly wait until it's time to mash the potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving!

Holiday Check In

It's a few hours before the meal and I'm already stuffed. No, I'm not the turkey. I almost had a major meltdown earlier over the deviled eggs. You wouldn't think that it would be that hard to boil eggs and then peel the shells but somewhere there was a major breakdown in this process. The shells would not come off the eggs and I had to take a butter knife and chip the shells off. This process resulted in four different opinions as to why the shells would not come off more easily. Mom says that the eggs were too fresh and that was the reason the shells were difficult to remove. Sister says the eggs needed to be at room temperature before they were boiled. Niece says the eggs probably came from the chickens outside and have been buried out behind the outhouse for the last few years. The MA Fat Woman didn't say anything but just kept swearing under her breath. Brother says the eggs weren't boiled long enough and the shells needed to be removed promptly after boiling. After this discussion which took almost an hour it was time to make the deviled egg mixture. Again, an hour to discuss how to make the mixture and four differing opinions. If we're having this much trouble with the eggs I can hardly wait until it's time to mash the potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving!

An Anniversary Of Sorts

Two years ago on this date I stopped smoking. I'm not going to tell you that it was easy, because it wasn't. I did use the drug called Chantix that you hear so much about. It gave me unusual dreams and highly successful bowel movements when I was taking it. I probably wouldn't have stopped smoking if it hadn't been for one particular doctor that told me straight up if I didn't stop smoking I would be carrying around an oxygen tank with me for the rest of my life. I've already got enough baggage to lug around so I quit. I'm not going to tell you that I didn't gain weight. I gained a lot of weight, some of which I have lost, and am trying to get back to my pre-smoking weight. Don't worry, I'll still be able to qualify as the MA Fat Woman. I have become the ex-smoker from hell. I can't stand the sight or smell of cigarette smoke any longer. If I get a whiff of a cigarette it makes me want to either throw up or go smack the person that is smoking it. I figure in two years I have saved at 4 bucks a pack roughly 3000 dollars. I stopped smoking the day after Thanksgiving two years ago. I sort of went cold turkey. Try it, you just might succeed too.

Dress Rehearsal

I’ve been stalking the local grocery store the last few weeks because it has been running a special program to allow you to get a free turkey for Thanksgiving. Of course, you have to spend a certain amount of dough on specific items to accumulate enough points to get a free 12-14 lb Butterball Frozen Turkey. I had done everything I was supposed to do and after a few attempts by the clerk to get the transaction right I had my shiny new turkey in hand. Evidently, I was the only person so far that had jumped through the correct hoops and collected the right stamps to earn the free Tom. The MA Fat Woman doesn’t mess around when it comes to food and coupons. I went off visiting my mom and sick family member and mentioned that I was going to cook a turkey over the next few days. Well, eyes lit up and mouths started to water; my mom wanted to know what day and what time because they were coming to eat. It seems that the list is growing of people that are going to her house to eat for Thanksgiving and she said it would be a dress rehearsal for the actual dinner planned for that day. Somehow, that made sense to me. The turkey was frozen solid and I had to put it in the dryer for a 30 minute spin cycle on tumble dry low. It took forever for it to defrost. I began the process of taking off the various layers of netting and plastic; I pulled the neck out of the body cavity and then stuck my hand in there looking for the gross stuff. I rooted around in there for several moments and didn’t find anything. I pulled out my hand, held the opening up to the light and stuck my head down there to see if I could spy the innards. I couldn’t find anything so I stuffed the bird and shoved it into the oven. After a spectacular Sunday Pre-Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings it was time to begin the clean up. One of my friends was taking the meat off the bones when she stumbled upon a little plastic bag oozing juice and other substances. You guessed it; it was the bag with the innards. They had been cooked right along with the turkey, in their little plastic bag. I had looked for them, just not in the right hole.

I Miss Them All

I come from a really large family on my mom’s side. Granny begat eleven children who begat thirty plus first cousins who begat fifty plus second cousins who begat I have no idea how many third cousins. And, to me, that’s a bad thing. I miss my family. Luckily, I was around my cousins when I was growing up. We had lots of adventures over the years and made a lot of memories. We like to joke in our family that the kids grew up and the parents moved away. My mom moved to Georgia the day after I graduated from high school and dad came about three months later. They really didn’t have a choice; both had lost their jobs because the factories had closed. Mom was a supervisor and was offered a transfer to another company facility. Now you know how the MA Fat Woman got to Georgia. Over the years others have migrated to the land of little or no snowfall. I gotta tell ya, I don’t miss the cold weather one bit. One of mom’s sisters moved down here so family gatherings, especially Thanksgiving, have become quite fun. A few years ago we had close to 25 people, last year, only three. I know it’s hard for everyone to get together because the cousins now have kids and grandkids and they have their own family rituals. Shoot, these days, if you can get more than ten of us together at one time it’s because someone is really sick or we’re going to a funeral. I’m not one to talk; I haven’t been to the family reunion in over twenty years. Thanksgiving will be along before you know it and you’re all invited. We eat at Noon!