Tormenting The Telemarketer

I didn't recognize the phone number on my Caller Id but it was from Orlando, Fl, so I decided to answer it. I do have family down there, it might be one of them. It shouldn't be from a telemarketer because I am on the Do Not Call List. But every once in a while, one will sneak through. When I answered the phone and there was a pause on the other end I knew it was a telemarketer; the following is our conversation: Me: Hello? ...silence. Helloooo? Voice: Uh, hello? Is someone there? Me: Hallow? (changing my voice to a more older and mature pitch...aka senior citizen) Hallow? Voice: Okay, hello! (surprised that somebody actually answered the phone) This is Don Juan calling from MRE Orlando Vacations. How are you today? Me: Fine. Voice: Okay, great! I'm calling to invite you to a three day vacation here at Walt Disney Orlando. Do you remember when you purchased a vacation a few years back? Me: Nawp, can't say that I do. Voice: Okay, you purchased it and was unable to go? Me: Nawp, can't remember that neither. Voice: Okay, someone you know went somewhere and wrote your name down? Me: Nawp, don't know nobody ever been to Orlando. Voice: Okay, is this G Farmer? Me: Nawp. Voice: Okay, that isn't right either. Have you ever lived at blah, blah, blah (my current address)? Me: Nawp. Voice: Damn, the whole thing is messed up. Somebody has given me all the wrong information. Me: Well, bless your heart. Don't you hate it when that happens? Voice(chuckling): Yes, I do. You wouldn't be interested in a Florida Disney vacation, would you? Me: Nawp, can't say that I would. Well, Don Juan, what are you, some sort of Romeo? I gotta go, my teeth are boiling. Bye Bye! Voice: uhhh, bye. Click!

New Used Car Tactics

I was visiting with Friend the other day when she told me about an unusual phone call she got. We both thought it was pretty funny and decided to share it with you. I'm going to tell the story from Friend's perspective. Phone ringing... Hello? Caller: Is this Mary? Yes, it is. Caller: Well, this is Sam from your local Ford dealer and I was inquiring about your 2002 Ford Explorer. What about it? Caller: Do you still have it? Yes, I do. Caller: Well, we'd like to buy it. Who would? Caller: Your local Ford dealer... Why? Caller: Well, we are looking for quality pre-owned vehicles to fill our inventory. What are you going to give me for it? Caller: Well, you would have to bring it in and we would do a thorough check of everything to make sure it runs okay... What do you mean do a thorough check of everything? You should know every sound that it makes since you had it for two months and had to put four transmissions in it and a power train to boot. It cost me over four thousand bucks and hours and hours of my time and now you're telling me that ... Caller: Ma'am? Don't cut me off! What kind of racket are you people running anyway? Used car salesmen calling folks at home wanting to buy their cars. It's all just a scam, isn't it? Get someone in there, harass and haggle them to death on the pretext of wanting to buy their cars and then try and sell them a new car. I don't think so Mister! And, by the way, I'm on the Do Not Call List! Caller: Ma'am, if you would like to set up an... Click!