Wrong Number...Again

"Hi Helen, it's Doug from Automotive Excellence again. I've got your Saab ready to go." I was sitting in the recliner half asleep when I was awakened by the phone ringing. Before I could reach over to get it the answering machine had kicked on and I wasn't too surprised to hear Doug going into his spiel searching for Helen. I couldn't resist this time so I picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Helen? Is that you?" "Hello? Helen? Are you there?" he asked. "No, this isn't Helen," I said. "You've dialed the wrong number and have been for the last ten years." "Oh! Well, I'm not looking for Helen, I'm looking for Ellen. Is this 555-555-5555?" "Yes, it is, but Ellen doesn't live here and I've had this same number for ten years," I replied. "Oh?" An awkward silence ensued and it seemed like I could hear Doug's brain trying to figure this one out. "Well, this here is the only number I got for Ellen and if she wants her car back she'll have to call me. Sorry, I been bothering you all these years. There's just one thing before I hang up, I'm a pretty good mechanic, you don't need any work done, do you?"

Wrong Number

"Hi Helen, it's me Doug," said the voice. And that's how the call begins each time. Doug has been calling for Helen at least ten years. I don't know Doug. I don't know Helen. I'm not Helen. I've had the same wrong number calling me for so long that I feel that I should know Doug and Helen. I did call the number that Doug left one time and it turned out to be a garage. I guess Helen likes Doug to work on her automobiles. Or is it something else? Is there perhaps something untoward going on? Could Doug and Helen be secretly having an affair. If so, how does Doug ever meet up with Helen when he doesn't even know her correct telephone number? Could Helen think that Doug handles his tool better than any other grease monkey? Does he make her spark plugs spark? Maybe she just has a crappy car that is always being fixed by a crappy mechanic? I don't know, maybe the next time Doug calls I'll pretend I'm Helen and see what his response is. If he starts breathing heavy, I'm hanging up! (But, I won't change my number!!)