Just How Hot Is It?

I like hot wings, to a point. On a scale of 1 to 10, I think I can handle a hotness level of 6, or maybe 7. I'm not one of those folks that have to go for the hottest level, remember that scene from Dumb & Dumber when the guys pour hot sauce onto the fat guy's food; that was just mean. Anyhow, I wanted hot wings for supper, but I didn't want to make them. There really isn't anywhere good in town to get wings, I've tried most of them and they leave a lot to be desired. Another option is to buy frozen wings. I've tried a lot of them and they end up tasting mostly soggy or I overcook them. I was shopping in Krogritz today and was checking out the deli section. The store had several flavors of already cooked wings that were cold and all you had to do was nuke them. There were at least 3 levels of hotness listed: Spicy, Buffalo and Cajun. Now, what does one do in this situation? You ask the deli clerk of course. I asked her, "Just how hot is it?" "Well, let me see. Them Cajun wings will have you singing Creole and wish you were down on the bayou in Bayou La Batre. The Spicy Wings will make you reminisce about the time you was Marco Polo and running from Genghis Khan on your way back from India on the Spice Route." "What about the Buffalo Wings?" I asked. "Child, them wings is so hot; you'd think the white man was chasing you into extinction all over again. Well, which one you gonna have?" Posed with the three explanations of hotness, I didn't really know which one to pick. I thought about it for a few moments and decided I would go for the ...You tell me, which kind would you choose?

Wordless Wednesday...Have You Seen This?

I'll Make A Donation

I was up at the mailbox this morning when my eccentric neighbor, Merlethem Shatz, spotted me and came rushing over. For obvious reasons that I've chronicled before I try to avoid her whenever possible. However, I'm usually not successful and end up with an earful; today was no exception. "Hey! Middle-Aged Fat Lady! Where you been? You ain't been setting out on the porch lately?" "It's been too hot," I replied. "Whew! I know what you mean. I've been chafed in more places than I care to mention. I been through a whole bottle of Goldbond Medicated Powder. Tell your sister I said thanks for those coupons; they really came in handy. Did you watch the Stand Up To Cancer Telethon the other night?" "I watched most of it. I was amazed that they got all three of the network news anchors to be together on the same channel," I said. "Well, I wasn't too concerned about that. I've been saving my change and I wanted to make a donation," Merlethem said. "That's terrific. Did you make one?" "I did, but it took me all night!" "Why? Was the line busy?" I asked. "No. I kept hanging up on them," she said. "What did you do that for?" I asked. "I kept getting people I've never heard of before," she said. "I don't understand..." "Every time I called I got a volunteer or someone that I've never heard of. I got that Kathy Griffin woman three times. Ain't she on the B list or something?" "Well, I don't think it's very nice to hang up on people. Those folks are volunteering their time and energy." "That may be true. But, I'm volunteering my money and if I'm going to make a donation. I want to talk to a celebrity. A real one."

A Silent Reminder

In memory of those who lost their lives on that tragic day and for the family and friends that continue to grieve for you, I silence my laughter on this day and fill my heart and soul instead with the prayers and songs of those who remember. You will never be forgotten and we will never forget. God Bless America.

Unclaimed Baggage

Recently, I took a trip to the Alabama Mountains wanting to relax and enjoy the scenery. I devoted a whole week of writing to the tale of Mentone, Alabama, because someone told me to tell the story when I was sitting on the toilet. "Tell the story," the voice said. "Tell the story!" Well, I did. And I haven't felt like reflecting since. I guess the voice in the john wants all the attention or something. Anyhow, another place I visited while in the area was the Unclaimed Baggage store. You may have heard of it. It's been on the Nightly News, Oprah, 60 Minutes, I think, and other various news programs around the country. In a nutshell, if you leave something on a plane or forget to pick up your luggage and don't claim it by a certain time it ends up at this store in Scottsboro, AL. Below are the items that I just couldn't live without: Everybody always needs a belt buckle or two. I got a friend in Texas, maybe, I'll send it to her. You can never have too many wallets! I'm not big on wearing used shoes, but they looked comfortable. (I sold them at the flea market.) And lastly, a set of books on wines throughout the world. This knowledge will be especially invaluable when I begin my trip around the world which I hope to accomplish in eighty days. Of course, the best part of all is if I forget something on a plane, I'll know where to find it. Or buy it!

Mentone, Alabama...Part V

...We all agreed to sit on the patio and proceeded to enjoy one of the best meals that I have ever eaten. Now, we knew why you needed a reservation: the food was excellent. The restaurant had a very relaxed atmosphere; it went along with the Artsy and Shabby Chic feel of the town. We met the chef--he came out several times and introduced himself as the guy that was doing the cooking. There was live entertainment (although we only heard it when the door was opened) and a small gift shop to purchase locally made items. It was a really nice evening! After a relaxing few days and a trip to the Unclaimed Baggage store which I'll be telling you about in a future post this story should have ended. I never intended to tell you about my adventure to Mentone. It was just a nice weekend that I spent with friends. But the problem is this: I couldn't get Mentone out of my brain. I'm not sure why, I just couldn't. One night, a few days after returning home from the trip I had to make a midnight trip to the potty. I never turn the lights on and as I was sitting on the toilet someone whispered in my ear, "Mentone. Write the story on Mentone." I kid you not. It spooked me. It had been a while since I had heard from any of the visitors that seem to follow me around. And what's even more strange is that Friend said she had a dream that told her to tell me to write the story about Enotnem, which is Mentone spelled backwards. Well, there you have it. I've written the story about Mentone. I'm still not really sure why except if a voice tells you to do something in the middle of the night--you'd better do it!

Mentone, Alabama...Part IV

After an enjoyable lunch of seafood and a full hour of classic country tunes it was time to head on back up the mountain and meet up with some friends. We finally arrived at the cabin and were somewhat surprised by the location; it was remote and isolated to say the least. It was later in the day and the subject of dinner was brought up. We had packed a few essentials such as beer, wine and a family size bag of Lay's potato chips. Back in my college days those three items would have made for an enjoyable weekend; now that I'm older--not so much. We didn't really have many options for dinner; in fact, we only had one option and that was the Wildflower Cafe. We pulled into the parking lot and were surprised by the amount of cars. One of my friends walked up to the hostess and before she could say anything the hostess said, "Do you have a reservation?" Reservation? Are you kidding me? It's a Thursday night, in the middle of nowhere, in a town with a population of 46 people and I've just been asked if I had a reservation. "No," my friend said. "Well, I know I don't have anything inside for the next two hours, but there might be something out back. Wait right here," said the lady. She came back in a few moments and said, "Well, I can put you out on the patio or you can get on the waiting list and we may be able to seat you. We close early..."