|"Well, there's no water," I yelled back.
And there I stood.
And no water. Oh, rats! Talk about having perfect timing...well, maybe imperfect, anyway.
What happened next was a scene straight out of The Bing Bang Theory where Howard and his mother are trying to engage in conversation.
"What'd ya say?"
"There's no water. I got soap everywhere."
"What happened to the water? You ain't still got soap in your hair, do ya?"
"I don't know what happened, you better check the water heater. And yes, I've got soap in every orifice and a head full of shampoo. The water heater is in the basement and try not to throw up down there." I yelled back as I started to shiver underneath my layer of soap. (The basement is very musty and damp and Friend throws up every time she goes in there.)
"Oh, crap! Isn't the hot water heater in the basement. I hope it don't make me throw up. I'll check the water meter too while I'm outside."
"You better check the meter while you're outside, too," I yelled back. Meanwhile, the water seemed to be making a comeback, albeit a very sparse trickle. My main priority was to get the soap out of the nether region because I was beginning to feel a slight burning sensation. I don't know how much time elapsed but in between drops of water I thought I heard Friend retching in the basement. "Find anything?" I asked. "Are you okay?"
"There's nothing down here. I just puked everywhere...*#^king basement. I'm okay, though."
Time continued to pass and I was performing contortions trying to get the slow-moving stream where it needed to be. Imagine trying to rinse off a layer of soap a straw full at a time. Not the most productive way, to say the least. I yelled for Friend a few times but there was no answer until I heard a comment from the kitchen. "I got your mail when I was checking the water meter and you're not gonna believe this? I told you that you should get your mail more than once a week."
"Who cares about the mail? What about the water?" I couldn't figure out why she was talking about the mail. At that moment the water came back on full force. "Never mind, the water is back on." I finished my shower, got dressed and walked into the living room where Friend was chuckling to herself. "What's up with you? And why were you talking about the mail, earlier?"
Friend pointed to the table where I noticed a postcard from the local water department dated from earlier in the week. Basically, it read that they would be performing maintenance on the water lines and to expect some disruption of the water flow.
What wasn't really surprising to me was the date and time of the scheduled maintenance: the exact time and date that I had stepped in the shower.
Charlie Brown ain't got nothing on me...