Friday, July 25, 2014

I Didn't Need To See That

Sometimes life gets in the way of your good intention. One can get distracted by a trip to the store, a visit with family or even a reality show that you really shouldn't give the time of day.

But there you are--glued to the television with the laptop sitting on a table beside you...looking at you...whispering to you.  "Are you ever going to write another blog post?" it says.

During a commercial break after just watching a fairly attractive grown woman throw a tantrum and proceed to hurl  a prosthetic limb at her companions has left you shaking your head and wondering, "I really didn't need to see that."

It might have been entertaining if Carol Burnett or Lucille Ball had tossed it, but a real housewife from nowhere...not so much.

Isn't there a better way to spend my time?

Looking at my neglected laptop, I thought back to my visit to the doctor earlier in the day. Hadn't I seen something that I really didn't need to see there, too? Why not tell the world and do a bit of writing? Remember that? It was something that you used to do on a regular basis.

A lady was patiently waiting on her husband to return from his fourth visit to a room somewhere in the back. Blood tests, x-rays  and a trip to the lavatory had all required a visit to a different room at a different time. The man hadn't even sat down before his wife picked up her over-sized bag and rummaged through it producing something that looked like a Swiss Army Knife on steroids. Turning one blade this way and opening another blade that way she soon pointed a mini pair of scissors at her husband.  "I'm tired of looking at that," she said.

"No, you're not," he said. "Get away from me."

"No!" she exclaimed. "Now hold still."

Now, I'm not sure where this was going but I knew it couldn't be good for any of us...the husband or the other waiting patients.

I was right.

The lady had had enough of looking at her husband's overgrown bushy eyebrows and she attacked them with an Edward Scissorhands type gusto.

I squirmed.

He squirmed.

We all squirmed to be the next patient called back.

"There," she said, after what seemed an eternity. "I don't have to look at that anymore."

"But, honey," he protested. "Here?"

"Palmer? Ms. Palmer. the doctor will see you now."

Thank goodness. I know grooming is an important part of daily life, but there is a time and place for everything. And this was neither the time or place.

Prosthetic limb tossing and public personal grooming--two things that I didn't really need to see.

But, hey, at least it grossed me out enough to open the laptop and share it with you...

Stay tuned...there's more to come!

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