What If I Don't Get In

I'll be honest; I'm already biting my nails, crossing everything that can be crossed and praying to every Saint, Deity and God that I have ever heard of in anticipation of what happens on December 1, 2015. No, the world isn't ending, but it may feel that way for some if they don't get in. I know you're probably wondering what could make me and several other thousand writerly folks resort to such measures and it's quite simply the registration date for a writing workshop that takes place every two years. But, this isn't any typical workshop. This is the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop that takes place at University of Dayton, in Dayton, Ohio, every two years. It's the only workshop in the country devoted to humor and trust me when I say not getting into the workshop is no laughing matter for those that have attended in the past. Teri Rizvi, Director Extraordinaire of the workshop has set up a Facebook page detailing when registration opens and encouraging past attendees to spread the word to other writers. That's where the trouble started. If we spread the word to other writers, won't that decrease my chances of getting in? I know everyone can't write humor--and that's a shame--because it's really hard to do. But this conference for humor writers is like an Ivy League school--it's really hard to get into and can definitely change your life--only it won't bust your wallet in the process. A past attendee and my friend, Janine, voiced what everyone was thinking: "I'll be on a plane flying from Budapest to India when registration opens and I'm going to HAVE to beg someone to register for me. What if I don't get in?" Another pal and past attendee, Mindy, says she now sets the alarm on registration day and missed out in '04 and '06 because she forgot when the date was. I knew exactly how both of my friends felt. Mom and I were cruising down the Danube River when registration rolled around last time and my friend, Kathie, had to do the registering for me. (She did get the biggest and best souvenir.) I won't be floating down the Danube this time, nor will I be way down yonder on the Chattahoochee--where it does get hotter than a hoochie coochie--no, I will be sitting at my desk, in my straight back chair watching the countdown clock that I have set up on my computer. It's at 28 days and counting… Not to be outdone by any of us is my friend, Pam, who has already made her hotel reservation. "If I'm not staying at the Marriott, I'm not going," she said. And in the next breath, "I hope I get in." I do, too, Pam. Because I've already made my hotel reservation, too.

Happy Blogaversary...Year IV

It's hard to believe that's it been four years since I started Reflections on a Middle-Aged Fat Woman. Over the past four years Reflections has grown from a one paragraph post about my visit to the doctor into stories of my farm life as a girl, my inconsistent search for the perfect job, tales of hospital visits, unfortunate mishaps at the drive-thru and the silly things that can happen in everyday life. One of my readers told me that the main reason they like coming to visit the MA Fat Woman is they never quite know what to expect, and usually, get a laugh in return. Personally, I think that is the highest compliment that can be paid to a writer, and for that, I'm grateful. Over the last year I also fulfilled a life long dream and that was to have a book published. Not many people can say that; but I can! How cool is that? When I attended the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop last April I had a conversation about what I wanted to accomplish with my writing. Did I want to continue to write stories free to everyone to read? Or did I want to try and make myself into a syndicated columnist? I think I like both of those ideas. Over the past few months I have been working on my better half. And by that I mean that I am happy to introduce to you my new website www.gianettapalmer.com. I hope you will join me there every Wednesday for life, laughs and the search for humor everywhere. It's still a work in progress and I'm sure it will evolve over time as I continue to find my voice. Several people that I met at the workshop and my mom, too, said that with a name like mine, why in the world was I hiding behind the middle-aged fat woman, thus gianettapalmer.com was born! I hope to see you there! Don't worry, I'll still be posting adventures about my life as the MAFW and my crazy family and neighbors here at Reflections, but I hope you'll check out my other site too! Thanks for stopping by and keep coming back. As you've probably figured out by now, you never know what I'm gonna be talking about. MA Fat Woman...a.k.a...Gianetta

Erma, Here I come!

Since I started this blog almost five years ago, it was my intent to provide insights, stories of memorable happenings and the occasional tidbit of useless information. I enjoy the process of getting an idea, working through the structure of the story and then trying to figure out how to get it to appear interesting on the blog. Deep down, I've always wanted to be a writer. About two years ago I watched a CBS Sunday Morning news report on Erma Bombeck and the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop held every two years in Dayton, Ohio. Of course, I had missed the deadline for the 2010 event, but what's another two years, right? Having said all of that, guess what? Yep, the event is this week and the Middle-Aged Fat Woman is going! Here are some of my thoughts on the trip: As a middle-aged fat woman, I'm preparing for my trip to the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop. This entails several things: making sure my mustache is shaved and how to introduce myself. Should I go with the casual, "Hi, I'm the Middle-Aged Fat Woman?" Or how about by nickname since childhood, "Hi, I'm G." and to really confuse people I can introduce myself by my Mother-given name, "Hi, I'm Gianetta Mia Palmer" and indeed watch all sorts of questionable looks appear on others' faces. I can see it now: "What?" "What did you say your name was?" "I don't think it's really polite for me to call you MA Fat Woman?" "Do you have anything else you go by?" "How do you pronounce your name again?" "Ohhhh, now I know why you go by G." "How do you spell that?" And so forth and so on... As I continue on into middle-age and watch my hormone levels go up and down like a ship on the high seas I am becoming increasingly aware of the many dark hairs sprouting on my upper lip; the worst part about it is that mustaches aren't even in style anymore. Such is the life of a middle-aged fat woman; always a day late and a dollar short as the saying goes. Hopefully, once the introductions are over and I've eradicated that last pesky hair I'll actually learn something. There are supposed to be some really famous funny people there. It'll be interesting to see if I can make any of them laugh... ...or better yet, they like me well enough to offer me a book deal. A girl can hope, right?