Giving The Finger

I’ve mentioned before that I was born and raised on a small farm in southern Ohio. I’d like to think that we were considered friendly. After all, it seemed that everywhere that we went someone was always waving at me. There are different kinds of waves for different situations. I bet you didn’t know that? The first kind of wave is when every part of your upper body is in motion. Your hands are waving and your chicken wings are flapping in the breeze. This wave is used mostly to greet a very close family member or maybe a long lost friend. The next wave is basically one-handed. It might be used when you are leaving a gathering of sorts and you stick your hand out the window. Or, it could be used for someone that waves at you and you’re not really sure who they are; you give them the hand out the window anyway just to be friendly. The wave that I normally give is kind of like giving someone the finger. I like to drive with both hands on the steering wheel in the ten and two position. When someone approaches coming the other way I throw up one finger without removing my hand from the steering wheel. This particular wave is the wave that the farmers used to give everybody when I was growing up. They didn’t put much effort into it; just a little acknowledgement to let you know that they had seen you. I haven’t had much luck with my wave lately. People are too busy in their cars to notice when someone is waving at them. They are talking on the phone, picking their nose, having a snack, and really just zoning out. I’m really surprised when I get a finger in return. I conducted an unofficial survey where I decided to wave at every car I passed on a recent trip to the store. I passed approximately 33 cars and got four waves, of which one was the finger, just the wrong one. I’m holding out that folks will start giving the finger again. Amuse yourself the next time you are driving and wave at every car you pass. Give them the finger and see how many you get in return.