Stuff I Wonder About

Now that we have a new President in office I'm curious about how some of the ordinary mundane tasks get accomplished at the White House. I know there is a personal staff that probably does a lot of the cleaning and cooking but what about if the President just wants to take a swig from the milk jug? Does the First Family have their own private refrigerator that can be raided day or night? If so, who makes out that shopping list? Do they clip coupons? Do they search the weekly circulars looking for the best deal on laundry detergent? Speaking of laundry, who folds the Presidential underwear? I would think that person would have to go through a tougher security screening process--too much starch in the wrong place can make for a touchy situation. Who signs the President's payroll check? Is he paid biweekly? Does he have direct deposit? Where does he get cash from? Does he need any cash? What about surfing the web? You know the First Lady might want to pick up something on Ebay. I guess the girls wear JCrew now, just wait, in a few years everything will be Hollister. Hollister is cheaper to buy online. I wonder if you ever feel comfortable in the White House? They say that the private family quarters are very private? I'm not so sure about that. Are the walls soundproof? What if the First Couple gets into a squabble about something? Is the Secret Service dude standing outside the door going to rush in if he hears a plate or two being tossed against the wall? Is it just me but does the President sound like Yogi Bear when he speaks sometimes? I dunno Michelle, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound? What about all of those credit card offers, do they come addressed to him personally at the White House? Do you think he uses that service that keeps tabs on his credit report each month? Lastly, do you think he has ever wanted to have that mole removed?