Sunday, April 19, 2009

Waiting On A Storm

I've always had an interest in storms. In fact, one of my favorite movies of all time is Twister. I used to be on the radio a few years back, the funnest job I ever had. It didn't pay much, but I was "The Voice" of bad weather for the local radio station.

(In my best radio voice)

"The National Weather Service in Peachtree City has just issued a Tornado Warning for ____ County until 10:45 PM. The storm was located 8 miles South Southwest moving North Northeast at 55 mph. The towns in the path of this storm are Katmandu, Nirwanda, Your uncle's buttcrack, and of course, the person with the worst teeth and worst vocabulary in a ten mile radius that will get their 10 seconds of on-air time."

Reporter: "What'd you see?"

Scary looking local: "Ahhh, I ain't seen nothin'. But, I heared a train comin' up the road. I grabbed up my kids, my mamma, 4 of my cats and little Clem here. Ain't she precious? I left my cigarettes outsides somewheres. The tornady must've sucked 'em right on up in the sky. You ain't got a smoke on ya, do ya? I needs something to calm my nerves down."

"Please go to the lowest point of your house, preferably a basement. If you do not have a basement, go to an interior room, a hallway, a closet or a bathroom. Stay away from doors and windows."

"If you see damage, large hail, or significant flooding, wait until the storm is over and call the National Weather Service at 1-555-Blowed-Away." 9 7 4 5 4 3 5 8 5

The National Weather Service has just issued a tornado warning...gotta go now, the cat and I will in the pantry under the stairs for the next thirty minutes or so.

3 comments:

Lola said...

Ever since our block got hit by a tornado in August 2007, every time I see tornado watch or warning flash on the television screen I freak out. One would think that because our area is considered tornado alley we would have tornado sirens, but we don't.

We sustained about $5,000 in wind damage which insurance mostly covered, but we also had flood damage that amounted to about that much that was not covered by insurance. We've had tornado warnings already in March, which is really odd for this area. I am so not looking forward to tornado season. I hope the tornado bypasses you and you don't sustain any damage.

alex said...

Stay safe, and let us know when you have come back out from under the stairs. They are forecasting hail here too.
As we are saying our prayers, we will be sure to mention your name. :-)

indy said...

lol funny. personally up here in indiana i wont mind a new roof on my house. bring it on mother nature.

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