|I've always had an interest in storms. In fact, one of my favorite movies of all time is Twister. I used to be on the radio a few years back, the funnest job I ever had. It didn't pay much, but I was "The Voice" of bad weather for the local radio station.
(In my best radio voice)
"The National Weather Service in Peachtree City has just issued a Tornado Warning for ____ County until 10:45 PM. The storm was located 8 miles South Southwest moving North Northeast at 55 mph. The towns in the path of this storm are Katmandu, Nirwanda, Your uncle's buttcrack, and of course, the person with the worst teeth and worst vocabulary in a ten mile radius that will get their 10 seconds of on-air time."
Reporter: "What'd you see?"
Scary looking local: "Ahhh, I ain't seen nothin'. But, I heared a train comin' up the road. I grabbed up my kids, my mamma, 4 of my cats and little Clem here. Ain't she precious? I left my cigarettes outsides somewheres. The tornady must've sucked 'em right on up in the sky. You ain't got a smoke on ya, do ya? I needs something to calm my nerves down."
"Please go to the lowest point of your house, preferably a basement. If you do not have a basement, go to an interior room, a hallway, a closet or a bathroom. Stay away from doors and windows."
"If you see damage, large hail, or significant flooding, wait until the storm is over and call the National Weather Service at 1-555-Blowed-Away." 9 7 4 5 4 3 5 8 5
The National Weather Service has just issued a tornado warning...gotta go now, the cat and I will in the pantry under the stairs for the next thirty minutes or so.