Saturday, July 31, 2010

Where Do Boogers Come From?


You know they say kids say the darnedest things and after what happened at the grocery store today I'm gonna have to agree with them.

I was at Krogritz for my weekly visit and ended up following a young mother and son through the store. He was a cutie and kept asking all sorts of questions: Why are carrots orange? Why do onions make you cry? Why can't I have a bag of Doritos? Why can't I have Lucky Charms? Where does a hotdog come from? What is a sanitary napkin? Why are you saying so many bad words when you see how much it costs? Can I get a few grapes to snack on? Can I ride in the buggy? When are we leaving? And on. And on. And on.

I'll have to hand it to the young mother, she kept her cool and answered every question without looking up from her shopping list. Most of the answers were either "No" or "I'll tell you later" and the child seemed satisfied and moved on to the next question.

We had made our way through the store and were in the last aisle where the alcohol is displayed. Standing by the beer was a very large man in bib overalls that had been made into shorts, black socks and orange Crocs. He wasn't wearing a shirt under the bibs and the sides were left unsnapped. He had a very big nose and his left index finger was shoved up in it so far that I'm sure it was touching his brain.

I know it isn't polite to stare but the sight of that man digging for gold stopped me in my tracks. The young boy was staring too and kept tugging on his mom's sleeve whispering, "Mommy? Mommy?" After what seemed like an eternity the mom looked up from her list and in the direction that her son was pointing. "Mommy, Mommy? Where do boogers come from?"

The man having heard the boy's question turned toward us and removed his finger from his nose. He examined his finger and held it out for the boy to see. "The nose, boy. That's where boogers come from. You better teach that fella 'bout them bodily functions, lady or he ain't gonna turn out right." He then took his hand and rubbed it on his chest, clutched his beer and left us standing there in a world of disbelief. The silence was only broken when the young boy turned to his mother and said this: "Mommy, that man was gross! I don't wanna learn about bodily functions if I have to do that."

5 comments:

Ace said...

Are you sure you weren't in Walmart? That guys sounds like one of the people pictured in those "People of Walmart" forwards I get. Ugh!

Grayquill said...

Well it's going to be a while before you top that one. What a visual. It made me want to throw out may overalls I cut off and stop picking my nose.

Dana said...

LOVED IT!!! This story alone is definitely worth my Kindle monthly subscription fee........... LOL

MA Fat Woman said...

Ace- Nope, Kroger!

Gray- If you mentioned the orange crocs we was going to have to have a conversation...

Dana- Thanks!

Sam said...

that was gross. funny kid, lol. this story made my day :D thanks for sharing.
-sam

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