Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Top Ten Things To Do During The First Heat Wave Of The Season

Here's another top ten list for your enjoyment:

What are the top ten things to do during the first heat wave of the season?

10. Complain to all your friends on Facebook about how hot it is?

9. Step outside to get a closer look at the thermometer to be sure it actually says 95 degrees at 9:00 AM---in the shade.

8. Confirm that it actually is 95 degrees in the shade with 75% humidity and begin the season with your first case of swamp ass. (Sweating of the loins.) (Thanks, Marilynn!)

7. Stay indoors!

6. Attempt an indoor activity.

5. Change clothes for the 5th time because it's too hot to do anything inside either; those chores will just have to wait.

4. Consider moving to Alaska.

3. Stare at window air conditioning units and wonder just how high the power bill is going to be this summer.

2. Have some ice cream while typing out a top ten list about things to do during the first heat wave of the season.

1. Do nothing! Don't move! Stay put! (Ok, you can move a little bit--just enough to get yourself another ice cream...)

Stay cool!

3 comments:

Stacy Lynn said...

It is nearly as bad here in PA, too (just taking a little longer than 9:00 to get the mercury up). It is miserable...thanks, though for the term "swamp ass." Now I know what I have when I stand up after spending all afternoon in the driver's seat of a school bus. Thank heavens summer vacation begins Friday at noon!

stella said...

LOL "swamp ass" that was a good one. I'll have to mention that one at the next get to gether with the religious in-laws. lol But they expect such from me by now. lol
How are ya beans doin? Damn pee-ants ate most of mine before they came up.

dana said...

I was wondering about that smell. Now I know it's swamp-ass.

On the other hand, although the heat is unbearable, at least we're not building a raft or shoveling snow!

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