How You Doin?...Week V

We're five weeks into the New Year and in my best Joey Tribbiani voice I ask "How you doin"? I thought I'd start a weekly feature here at Reflections that would encourage you to stick with it. I think I'm doing it more for myself, actually. If I write it down each week, I can hold myself accountable. But, please, feel free to play along at home. I did really crappy this week. I finished my 21 day plan and took the rest of the week off. I'm planning to begin a new 21 day period in a few days. Are you laughing at least once a day? Have you given someone a nice compliment? Have you become a follower of the MA Fat Woman through Google Connect I'm blaming everything on the icky weather. I hope you were more successful with your weekly tasks! Also, if you would like to be included on my blog roll, please leave your info in the comments section. MA Fat Woman

Do You Bake?

I was trolling through Walmart the other day along with every other first of the month check recipient (remind me never to do that again) and the joint was hopping. There were chains of old people staggering and wobbling, trying to stay upright. You know when a younger, more agile senior will offer an arm for assistance and it will be grabbed and held onto for dear life. You don't want them to fall and break a hip or something. Anyhow, I saw several groups where they were walking four and five abreast, grimaces on their faces, as skeletal and bony phalanges were dug deeper and deeper into their respective forearms as they struggled to maneuver about the store.. They were making me nervous so I headed on over to the automotive section until they were through with their shopping. After a half hour or so spent looking at the different viscosities of motor oil (who knew)I headed back over to the food section where I noticed a nice looking, older lady who was smiling and motioning in my direction. Never one to miss an opportunity to speak to someone I rolled my cart over to her. "Do you bake?" she asked. "Excuse me?" "I was wondering if you baked?" she asked again. "Well, yes, I do bake from time to time," I replied. "Good, I'm glad I found you. I just wanted to tell you about the great deal they're having on pie shells. They overstocked from Christmas and now they are only a quarter each." "Wow! That is a good deal. I'll have to tell my mom about it. Thanks for telling me," I said. "I was just finishing up my part of the bargain," she said. Before I could ask what she meant she said that the lady that told her about the sale said she had to tell someone else to keep the chain going. And before I could get the words what chain out of my mouth I saw them. A chain of the seniors that I had run from earlier were staggering towards me with an armload of frozen pie shells. I'm not exactly sure what happened next but one started to slip, one tripped, another lost her glasses and down they all went. Can you say cleanup on Aisle 4? Well, I did what every smart person would do, I grabbed a couple of pie shells and got the hell out of there. Later, as I was telling mom about what had happened, she was all into it, agreeing I had done the right things until I got to the end. With a quizzical look on her face she wanted to know why I had only gotten two pie shells.

Tormenting The Telemarketer

I didn't recognize the phone number on my Caller Id but it was from Orlando, Fl, so I decided to answer it. I do have family down there, it might be one of them. It shouldn't be from a telemarketer because I am on the Do Not Call List. But every once in a while, one will sneak through. When I answered the phone and there was a pause on the other end I knew it was a telemarketer; the following is our conversation: Me: Hello? ...silence. Helloooo? Voice: Uh, hello? Is someone there? Me: Hallow? (changing my voice to a more older and mature pitch...aka senior citizen) Hallow? Voice: Okay, hello! (surprised that somebody actually answered the phone) This is Don Juan calling from MRE Orlando Vacations. How are you today? Me: Fine. Voice: Okay, great! I'm calling to invite you to a three day vacation here at Walt Disney Orlando. Do you remember when you purchased a vacation a few years back? Me: Nawp, can't say that I do. Voice: Okay, you purchased it and was unable to go? Me: Nawp, can't remember that neither. Voice: Okay, someone you know went somewhere and wrote your name down? Me: Nawp, don't know nobody ever been to Orlando. Voice: Okay, is this G Farmer? Me: Nawp. Voice: Okay, that isn't right either. Have you ever lived at blah, blah, blah (my current address)? Me: Nawp. Voice: Damn, the whole thing is messed up. Somebody has given me all the wrong information. Me: Well, bless your heart. Don't you hate it when that happens? Voice(chuckling): Yes, I do. You wouldn't be interested in a Florida Disney vacation, would you? Me: Nawp, can't say that I would. Well, Don Juan, what are you, some sort of Romeo? I gotta go, my teeth are boiling. Bye Bye! Voice: uhhh, bye. Click!

Twenty-One Days

Webster's dictionary defines habit as a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance. And an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary. Basically, if you do something enough times it should become second nature; you do it without thinking. Researchers can't seem to agree on how long it should take to learn or unlearn a habit. The days vary from 17, to 21, up to 30, and so on. A lot of it depends on the individual and the habit you want to work on. For me, it seemed that 21 days was the magic number. When I stopped smoking the first three weeks were extremely difficult to get through. Once I made it that far it was only a few more days until I had been stopped for a month. Thirty days of being smoke-free seemed impossible when I first started, but now it's been three years. This time around I have decided to focus on my physical being--that which is fat and middle aged. I can't do anything about my age. I'll always be at least this age, probably not any older though. That leaves the fat and that is something I can work on. Before you get too excited and start wringing your hands and shaking your head because you think all I'm going to talk about is losing weight, you can just calm it because that ain't going to happen. Trust me, I do not want to hear about how many pieces of lettuce I can eat or that I lost a pound after weigh in because I had an excellent bowel movement. Now, that finally gets me to where I am today. Today is my day off, and so is tomorrow. For the last 21 days, I have been forming new habits. I ate a mostly low carb diet, I drank 8 glasses of water, and I exercised every day. (I did have a jelly donut one day because I had crazy PMS.) I made a chart and put it on the fridge and I checked the 21 days off, one by one. If I made it through I promised myself a nice reward, which is a half hour massage over at the day spa. That's something worth trying for, right? Anyhow, I'm allowing myself two days off before I begin my second 21 days. I'm not going to go eat a bunch of junk, because I have most of the bad stuff out of my system now. I'll probably keep drinking my fluids too and my body has gotten used to more movement. It took me 21 days to form these new habits, I lost some weight, I'm getting around better and my complexion looks great. No, I don't think I'll take two days off, these new habits are definitely worth keeping.

How You Doin?...Week IV

We're four weeks into the New Year and in my best Joey Tribbiani voice I ask "How you doin"? I thought I'd start a weekly feature here at Reflections that would encourage you to stick with it. I think I'm doing it more for myself, actually. If I write it down each week, I can hold myself accountable. But, please, feel free to play along at home. I did really well this week. I'm at the end of something that I've been working on and will tell you about it on Monday? Are you keeping your resolutions? Are you admitting that you aren't a computer guru and you need help with your new web design? Are you laughing at least once a day? Are you staying positive? Have you given someone a nice compliment? Are you finding happiness and contentment in your everyday activities? Are you eating more fiber? Are you letting the little things go? Are you being less judgemental? Are you clipping coupons to help you save money? Have you become a follower of the MA Fat Woman through Google Connect Are you drinking fluids to keep hydrated? Are you getting off the couch any? These are some of the things that I'm working on. Hope you will too! If you have anything to add to the list, please do so. Also, if you would like to be included on my blog roll, please leave your info in the comments section. MA Fat Woman

Remembering Dad...Year II

Today would have been my Dad’s 75th birthday. Dad liked nothing better than having a steak for his birthday. Mom likes a Ribeye, but not Dad, he liked a T-Bone, the bigger the better. In recent years, the local steakhouse closed down, reopened, closed again, reopened as a church, closed again and has now reopened as a Mexican restaurant. Confused? Me too! So, in keeping with the family tradition, we’re going out for T-bones at the new Longhorn that has opened near where the old steakhouse once stood. I’m sad you can’t be with us but we know you’ll be watching. I don’t know if you ever got to eat at Longhorn or not but I hear they cook a really mean steak. We miss you. Gopher

If You Leave It

I'll list it. Since we're going to be making some more changes here at MA Fat Woman. (I'll try to leave the colors alone, but it is almost spring and I really like pastels, so you never know.) Anyhow, I am going to add to my list on the side of Friends Who Can Relate and if you would like to have your blog included just leave your link in the comments section. It's a whole lot easier that way than me travelling about the blogiverse and doing the old copy and paste. Again, if you'd like to be included on my blog roll, list or whatever you want to call it, just leave your info in the comments. (Of course, I do have the right to reject any and/or all links if I find that they are not funny and/or at least a little interesting.) MA Fat Woman