Things That Make You Go Oops

I was off to another exciting visit to the grocery store last week. I had made out my list and had gotten the appropriate coupons for this quick trip. It wasn't my monthly visit; you know the one where you have to stock up on paper products, laundry detergent and all of the other boring stuff. I had eaten lunch before my visit which was not unusual. Somewhere along the way I had learned that you weren't supposed to go shopping on an empty stomach. Supposedly, shopping for groceries with a full belly will stop me from buying foods that are bad for me. (Yeah, right) I was cruising right along, I had made it pass the produce aisle, (Remember, the middle-aged fat woman doesn't like salads) when I heard the first rumble. (Uh oh) I was headed down aisle 3 which is where the condiments are located. I knew I needed ketchup, and started searching for my list. Grrrrrrrr! (Oh my Lord!) What was that? I couldn't find my list and I was beginning to sweat just a bit. Roooaaaaarrrr went my stomach. I had started to head up aisle 4, (cereal aisle) I knew I needed a box of cereal because I had a coupon. I began looking through my stack of coupons when I realized that I had picked up the wrong stack. I had picked up the coupons to be used at a later date (Great) (Rumble, grgggle, Burrrrroppp) Obviously, I had a situation developing that needed my immediate attention. I needed to find a restroom, fast! I started rolling the cart up aisle 5 and was headed to the area where I hoped the facilities were located. Along the way, the shopping cart wheel (Which was going thump, thump, thump) got stuck on something and wouldn't roll. (Grrrrrrr) Highly exasperated and sweating profusely, I shook the cart back and forth trying to get the wheel unstuck. I looked up and saw the sign for the restrooms, I was close. With a final shove, it came loose, and almost overturned. (It had gotten stuck on a penny) I grabbed the penny and my purse and headed for the bathroom door. There was a handwritten sign on it which I slowed to read (No merchandise to be taken beyond these doors without a receipt) and pushed my way in. Grgggle, Burrroppp. The first thing that I noticed when I got inside was a urinal. The next thing that I noticed was a man standing in front of the urinal. He looked at me with shock registering on his face and I said "Oops", made an about face and back out the door I went. In my haste to reach the facilities and read the sign, I had walked right into the men's room. Oops!