Activating A Credit Card...Part I

As I staggered back down the driveway from getting the mail the other day I looked down in my hand to see if I had gotten anything worth opening. As a former US postal worker I know the tricks of the trade regarding good mail and junk mail. (But, those stories are for another day.) It was Thursday and near the first of the month which is when I get a lot of my monthly magazines. As I sorted through the never-ending assortment of advertisements, monthly magazines and the “Have you seen me” postcards, my hand fell upon two business-size envelopes that felt thick in the center. I looked for the stamp—there wasn’t any; this meant that it wasn’t a personal matter but a business letter. I looked at the return address—I didn’t recognize it. Hmmm! It might be important. I tore into the first envelope and was met with this message: Welcome, MA Fat Woman! We would like to welcome you to your new credit card. Your new card will replace your soon-to-expire card ending in account number ****-****-****-0809. Please call 1-800-you-are-getting-on-my-nerves from your home phone to activate this card as soon as you receive it. And thanks once again for charging your life away. I set the first envelope aside and tore into the second---same message, different company. It was then that I realized it was September. I go through this every two years. I don’t know why the credit card companies can’t issue you a card for life. I hate making that phone call, because 99% of the time, after you have punched in everything that defines who you are, such as your birth date, the last four digits of your social and your mother’s maiden name, you get this: Please hold as we transfer you to a customer service representative. Your call is important to us and may be monitored for quality control purposes. “Hello, this is Radji Patel; may I have your account number please?” Click!