Sunday, March 13, 2016

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

I have no idea. I just thought it was a good title.

But in this case, the chicken crossed the road or was placed by someone in my neighbor's fenced yard for no other reason to drive me crazy on a Sunday afternoon.

I have no idea where the rooster came from. I have the windows open because it's too hot, too soon and I'm too cheap to turn on the air conditioner this early in the year. It's still winter, for heaven's sake.

The rooster crowed for over an hour before I realized it wasn't coming from the television. I've stopped watching a lot of network television--however, I am hooked on Homeland on Showtime--I only have about three weeks of the free stuff left on my new customer special with Dish so I am binge-watching it to get caught up.

Imagine my surprise, after the umpteenth cock-a-doodle-do that I realized the television wasn't on. I live in the country but none of my neighbors have any chickens.

I heard the rooster sound off again and decided this was cause for an investigation so I put on my slippers and ventured outside. Mom called right when I saw the chicken for the first time.

Mom: "What are you doing?"

 Me: "Spying on a chicken."

 Mom: "Is it fried?"

 Me: "Nope, it's still running around the yard. Don't know where it came from?"

 Mom: "Okay, but you're not keeping it."

 Me: "Why not?"

 Mom: "Cause I already ate..."

I wasn't the only one interested in the chicken. Wally and Ralphie spent the whole afternoon searching for the bird making all that racket.


Later in the afternoon, after a Sunday meal of fried chicken (I know) Mom called and wanted an update on the situation.

Me: "Guess what?"

 Mom: "You caught the chicken?"

 Me: "Nope. Friend tried to get a pic of it."

 Mom: "Did she get it?"

 Me: "Nope. She stepped on a snake..."

 Mom: "Oh. I thought I heard yelling..."

 Me: "There's was LOTS of yelling and cursing and I beat her inside the house...."

Now, I know why the chicken crossed the road. To get the hell away from that snake.

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