Too Many Choices

On a recent Saturday morning I found myself doing errands in my hometown when I heard my stomach growl. My first thought was how could I possibly be hungry after what I had eaten the night before? My second thought was I wonder if they are still serving breakfast at McDonalds? After another two stops; one at the post office and another at the drugstore to pick up a prescription I found myself waiting in the drive-thru lane at my favorite fast food joint. My anticipation was building as I slowly inched my way forward to the ordering speaker. Should I get an egg mcmuffin? Maybe, I should try the new oatmeal that Sister has been raving about? What about a sausage biscuit? Should I get a value meal? Do I really need hashbrowns? Should I get coffee? They can't seem to fix my coffee the way I like it. Actually, I don't know how many shots of cream or sugar to tell them; that's probably the reason. I continued to to inch forward in the car when I heard the lady in front of me order the sausage mcgriddles. Oh My! Now, that's something I would like to try I thought to myself, but what if I don't like it. I better stick to something safe. Order taker: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds! May I take your order?" MAFW: "Hi, Uhh, I think I'll have the sausage biscuit with egg." Order taker: "Okay, would you like to get an extra value meal?" MAFW: "Uh, sure." Order taker: "Okay, would you like small, medium or large?" MAFW: "Uh, I'll take medium. How many hash browns do you get with medium?" Order taker: "You get one hash brown." MAFW: "Okay, I'll take medium." Order taker: "What would you like to drink?" MAFW: "I'll have a Diet Coke." Order taker: "Small, medium or large." MAFW: "Drinks are all the same price, aren't they?" Order taker: "Yes, they are." MAFW: "Okay, I'll have the large diet." I was waiting for the guy to state my total and to please pull forward when I was asked something else. "Would you like the folded or round egg?" MAFW: "Excuse me?" Order taker: "Would you like the folded or round egg?" MAFW: "Uh, what?" Order taker: "Ma'am, would you like a folded or round egg with your sausage biscuit with egg extra value meal?" Are you kidding me? I have a hard enough time trying to figure out where I want to eat and what I want to eat. Now I have to decide what shape of egg I want--give me a break! "I'm not sure," I asked. "Do they taste the same?" Order taker: "Excuse me?" MAFW: "Yeah,I was wondering if the folded or round egg tasted the same?" (Don't laugh, they could be serving sunny-side up or over medium.) Order taker: "I think so, they come out of the same place, you know?" Touche!

Too Many Choices

On a recent Saturday morning I found myself doing errands in my hometown when I heard my stomach growl. My first thought was how could I possibly be hungry after what I had eaten the night before? My second thought was I wonder if they are still serving breakfast at McDonalds? After another two stops; one at the post office and another at the drugstore to pick up a prescription I found myself waiting in the drive-thru lane at my favorite fast food joint. My anticipation was building as I slowly inched my way forward to the ordering speaker. Should I get an egg mcmuffin? Maybe, I should try the new oatmeal that Sister has been raving about? What about a sausage biscuit? Should I get a value meal? Do I really need hashbrowns? Should I get coffee? They can't seem to fix my coffee the way I like it. Actually, I don't know how many shots of cream or sugar to tell them; that's probably the reason. I continued to to inch forward in the car when I heard the lady in front of me order the sausage mcgriddles. Oh My! Now, that's something I would like to try I thought to myself, but what if I don't like it. I better stick to something safe. Order taker: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds! May I take your order?" MAFW: "Hi, Uhh, I think I'll have the sausage biscuit with egg." Order taker: "Okay, would you like to get an extra value meal?" MAFW: "Uh, sure." Order taker: "Okay, would you like small, medium or large?" MAFW: "Uh, I'll take medium. How many hash browns do you get with medium?" Order taker: "You get one hash brown." MAFW: "Okay, I'll take medium." Order taker: "What would you like to drink?" MAFW: "I'll have a Diet Coke." Order taker: "Small, medium or large." MAFW: "Drinks are all the same price, aren't they?" Order taker: "Yes, they are." MAFW: "Okay, I'll have the large diet." I was waiting for the guy to state my total and to please pull forward when I was asked something else. "Would you like the folded or round egg?" MAFW: "Excuse me?" Order taker: "Would you like the folded or round egg?" MAFW: "Uh, what?" Order taker: "Ma'am, would you like a folded or round egg with your sausage biscuit with egg extra value meal?" Are you kidding me? I have a hard enough time trying to figure out where I want to eat and what I want to eat. Now I have to decide what shape of egg I want, give me a break! "I'm not sure," I asked. "Do they taste the same?" Order taker: "Excuse me?" MAFW: "Yeah,I was wondering if the folded or round egg tasted the same?" (Don't laugh, they could be serving sunny-side up or over medium.) Order taker: "I think so, they come out of the same place, you know?" Touche!

You Want Coke With That?

I have been trying to save money just like a lot of people around the country. I clip coupons and I try not to eat out too often. I had to take the cat to the vet this morning which he wasn’t very pleased about and decided that I would go to McDonalds and get something for breakfast. Simple enough plan, right! After the visit to the vet we were on our way over to Mickey D’s. I got in line at the drive thru window and waited my turn. It is a new drive thru where they have two lanes open; I don’t really like them because someone is always trying to cut in front of me. Or, you get a person who is unsure whether it’s their turn or not and then you have a standoff and then you both go at the same time. Then you hit the brakes and look at each other and stop and go and stop and go and then somebody will wave the other through and so on and so forth. Sometimes, your nerves are shot before you even get to the window. The car ahead of me had asked for about ten extra items at the window such as ketchup, extra napkins, butter, jelly and stock options and after having successfully navigating the drive thru lane it was finally my turn at the window. I had ordered a bacon and egg biscuit combo with a Diet Coke to drink. I was hungry and thirsty. I reached out the window to receive my order and watched in absolute wonder as the lid (which wasn’t secured properly) on the top of my drink came off and the lady at the window dropped my drink and it fell precisely into my lap. I looked at her and she looked at me; we both turned and looked at the cat that was now standing up right in the passenger seat with every hair on his back all puffed up. Her eyes were wide and her lower lip began to tremble. I think I heard an “I’m sorry” somewhere. “It’s my first day,” she said, “and I’m very nervous.” I didn’t really say anything as she handed me another drink and I pulled away from the window. How could I be mad? The same exact thing had happened to me when I was in college and was beginning a new job as a waitress. I spilled a drink all over a man’s lap on my very first day too! But, here’s the kicker. I waited tables for over five years and I never did spill anything else; hopefully, the same will happen for her too.

I'm Not Loving It

It was 98 degrees today. It was hot. I tried to stay indoors for most of the day, but the cat wanted to sit out on the porch. There is no sense arguing because the cat always wins. While we were sitting out on the porch the mail ran. There might be something important in the mailbox so I made the trip up the hill and back down again. Of course, there wasn't anything important, just two advertising fliers soliciting pre-paid funeral plots. As I flung myself into my plastic patio chair I hit the seat and slid right off catching myself before I hit the ground. It was so hot that I had become completely drenched in sweat from walking up the hill to get the mail. I had had enough; I grabbed the cat and went back inside the house. I stuck my head in the freezer to try and cool myself down. In case you're wondering, sticking my head in the freezer is a trick I learned growing up, we didn't have any air conditioning and it could get really hot during the summer. Sticking your head in the freezer cools you off quickly. While having my head in the freezer, I checked to see if I had any ice cream. (I didn't) After all, what's better on a hot day than a bowl of ice cream? My appearance wasn't at its best, so, I decided a trip to McDonald's to go through the drive thru would have to suffice. I love the ice cream cones at this fast food giant. The cone only has 150 calories (not that I am counting) and only costs about a buck, you can't beat that! I grabbed my keys and the cat and hopped in the car. It's about three miles into town, just enough time to blow out the hot air in the car and for the air conditioning to begin to cool things down. The anticipation was beginning to build, I looked over at my cat and he licked his lips. When he goes for a ride in the car he usually ends up with a treat of some kind, and doesn't seem to mind going. It was hot. I was hot. The car was hot. The steering wheel was almost too hot to touch. I got stopped at all of the stop lights going into to town. I had to pull over twice; once for a funeral and the second time for an ambulance. I finally pulled into McDonald's and the drive thru lane was backed up around the building. (I guess everyone thought ice cream was a good idea) Can you say I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream? It's finally my turn at the window, "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?" "It sure is hot, ain't it? I'd like an ice cream cone please," I replied. "Yes ma'am, it is hot. I'm sorry, but our ice cream machine is broken. Would you like something else?" I screamed, the cat screamed, the whole drive thru line was screaming. No ice cream. Ba dup ba dup baaaa, I'm not loving it.