More Birthday Wishes

It's been a really festive time for the MAFW's family. It seems that the Holidays were just a big blur...with all the eating, complaining about how much we ate, and my niece complaining about how fat she is (She's 5'2" and weighs 90 lbs) My left leg weighs 90 lbs. We had my sister's (Big Red as she DOESN'T like to be called) birthday and I hear it was very festive. Now, it's time for another birthday. My big brother is celebrating his birthday today. Since we are sharing the family nicknames....drum roll please. His nickname is Boy, sometimes called Big Boy. Boy is a fan of WW II and can give you all the information ever needed if you are building a house since he has a background in construction. He taught me how to play football, throw a perfect strike (complete with a full wind up) and how to play chess. He also taught me how to chew tobacco, scratch my butt, cuss a blue streak, throw cow patties, wrestle a hog and spit and catch loogies. (Most of these tricks I have since out grown) (Most) However, it is good knowledge to have. So here's to you! Happy Birthday! MA Fat Woman P.S. I ate your birthday present.

Out Of Gas

I’m not sure how many of you out there are dealing with this situation, but it’s beginning to get on my nerves. I live in the state of Georgia, and, it seems that we have run out of gas. In a time when we are supposed to be conserving fuel Atlantans are driving all over town looking for gas. I’m not exaggerating. Atlanta is famous for its congestion, traffic jams, and miles and miles of interstates. There isn’t a subway system and the rail system hardly goes outside the 285 Perimeter. If you want to get anywhere, you drive your vehicle, and for that, you need gas. If you are lucky enough to find a station that has gasoline, you better be prepared to pay up. Georgia has the third highest price gas behind Alaska and Hawaii. I’m not sure why because I thought we were part of the lower 48. The prices we are paying are what they normally pay in California. There’s even been a rumor started around town that they were thinking about canceling the Alabama-Georgia football game. Now, as a member of the SEC, even mentioning something like this constitutes an act of unAmericanism. I know there is bad blood between these two teams, but Geesh, canceling a football game, I hope not. You know, I had tickets to go see the game and I called my friend that lives in Athens and asked if I could spend the night. We were originally going to meet at the game but he had one small problem. He said I could spend the night if I came and picked him up; he was out of gas. I think I’ll stay home and watch the game on television.

A Letter To Brett Favre

Dear Brett, It's too bad I never got to see you play. You always look like you're having fun. It's also too bad that the Atlanta Falcons traded you away after one year. How dumb was that? If you had stayed in Atlanta I might have gotten a few more opportunities to see you run around the field, jumping excitedly up and down after scoring the game-winning touchdown. Or, how about throwing that snowball at your teammates last year, you made football fun to watch. You are a Green Bay Packer. It pains me to watch ESPN right now. I know it was a hard decision to retire. You broke almost every quarterback record that has been kept. To me, you are the greatest player in football, maybe it is time to let it go and move on? I know you still have the drive, the desire, and the guts to "bring it" every day. Your desire and passion have never been questioned. I don't think I could watch you play for anyone other than the Green Bay Packers. When MJ retired, came back and went to the Wizards, it was sad to watch. It was not the same player that I watched, the one who could actually keep me interested in a NBA game. I turned off the NBA when Michael retired. Maybe you should call Barry Sanders? Nobody could believe it when he retired. The running back was at the top of his game. He made his decision and stuck to it. However, every year the same questions would arise, would Barry come out of retirement? It wasn't Barry who started these rumors; it was the press trying to make something out of nothing. I liked to watch Sanders, but he wasn't my favorite. Number 4, you are my favorite! Please don't play football for anyone other than Green Bay. Go coach the high school team. Join your local softball league--it can be very competitive. And if you are still looking for someone to play catch with on Sundays, the middle-aged fat woman is always available. Sincerely, Your #1 Fan