How Do You Eat Raviloi?

I was over at Krogritz (Kroger) the other day wanting to stock up the pantry because it was getting pretty low. They always seem to have a special running where you can get 10 of something for ten bucks. Most times it's a really good deal. What especially caught my eye was a big bin of ravioli. Now, let's admit something here: I L-O-V-E ravioli. I don't care if it's the overstuffed kind, the cheese kind or the extra meaty kind; I'm usually getting three or four cans. I knew that if I was being watched people would think that I might be a few quarts low in the old thinking department while I was stuffing cans of ravioli into my shopping cart with a look of pure joy on my face. I got every can that I could find, and since I have a tendency to go overboard ended up with 32 cans of ravioli. Can you say score? I checked the expiration dates and not one was before 2012. I've got almost two years to work my way through my newly found treasures. Sometimes, I just don't want to cook and I can just open a can and dig in. It was a few days later when I decided to enjoy my first can of ravioli. After I nuked it in the microwave I settled down to enjoy my ravioli the way that I like to eat it. The process goes something like this: Spear individual ravioli with fork and thoroughly coat with sauce. Lick sauce off of ravioli. Spear. Repeat. Now that the ravioli is sauce free, the nibbling can begin. Make your way around the outer edge of the ravioli nibbling in small bites just up to the meat-filled center. Once this circle is completed place the ravioli back into the bowl and take the tine of the fork gently to one corner and remove the top layer of pasta to reveal the meaty center. Place removed piece to the side. Scrape off meaty filling, dip in sauce and enjoy. Lastly, place removed piece back on top of remaining pasta, dip and eat. Repeat until finished. Weird? Maybe! I'm sure you have a particular way you like to eat a certain food. Don't even get me started on how I eat Oreos!

Still Wearing The Same Suit

I'll be on vacation for the next week down along the Georgia Coast. I'm still wearing last year's swimsuit so I thought I would let you revisit this story. Enjoy! Beachgoers beware!! The middle-aged fat woman is coming soon to a beach near you with a brand new bathing suit. Cover your children's eyes. What was that flash of white?(my pearly white skin) I don't care what anyone says, this year I'm going to the beach for a whole week and I am going to enjoy every minute of it. So I bought myself a new swimsuit. I didn't try it on 'cause I know what size I am. Plus, I don't like to use dressing rooms.(I always think someone is watching through those mirrors) And if you're at one of those big stores where the dressing room is out in the middle with no ceiling, they can look right down and check out your stuff.(Makes me shiver and cringe) I hate to admit it but I spent over $18.00 on my new swimsuit. Seems like an awful lot of money for a little piece of string. I picked out a nice brown jungle pattern that matched the splotchiness in my complexion and was the color of my new sandals. Once I got home I thought I would try it on and see how it looks. I began to remove all of the tags including the price tag,(paid too much) the security tag,(it only cost 18 bucks) the designer label,(yeah, right) and lastly, that other thing called a panty shield. (Gross) Ok, I'm ready to take that first step. One leg goes in, then the other. I begin to pull the one-piece upwards toward my hips and am met with a slight resistance.(Not a problem, happens all the time) I tug harder and up it snaps(OW). I insert each arm into the proper slot and begin to pull, stretch, twist and contort myself into my new suit. I begin to adjust everything and put it where it normally sags, but darn it, if the shoulder straps don't keep slipping off my shoulders.(I hate that) My chest is heaving, sweat is dripping off my brow, I think I might have pulled a muscle in my back trying to get the stupid thing on. Now, comes the moment of truth. I turn around and look in the full-length mirror to check myself out. My head turns to the left, then the right, I turn around and look at the back....I shake my head and say to myself, "Aren't you glad you bought the matching coverup?"

Riding Shotgun

ALERT, Alert, lert. What did that sign say? That was what I was trying to figure out as another damn truck was clogging up the slow lane and blocking my view as I was travelling ultra supersonic in the passing lane. (I don't know if ultra supersonic is a word or not but I like the way it sounds.) Anyhow, I was returning to Georgia after visiting with a few of my old friends at my 25 year high school reunion. And if you know anything about this neck of the woods, there is really only one efficient way to get there: Interstate 75. I'm happy to report that Tennessee has reopened the rest areas that had been closed for years. (And I stopped at every one of them too. Too much Diet Coke and Cincy style chili require frequent stopping when travelling.) Anyhow, the interstate was being repaved through Kentucky and Tennessee and I was lucky enough to get stopped three times in a traffic backup. They had posted signs along the way advising that certain lanes would be closed ahead and you would need to merge. When the merging begins traffic usually comes to a crawl or even a standstill as some folks wait until the very last moment to merge and still expect to be let into the already merged traffic. And, of course, there are those idiots that do not want to merge and will ride in the emergency lane. (I'm sure you have seen these people.) After I had merged I found myself sandwiched between 18-wheelers as we inched the last two miles until we reached the construction zone. I noticed at least three vehicles pass in the emergency lane and just shook my head. All of a sudden, the trucker beside swerved to the right and started straddling his lane and the emergency lane. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw an idiot trying to pass in the emergency lane. Whatever way he tried to go, the truck would adjust so he couldn't get past. One time I thought he was going to go right up the middle between me and the truck. After several attempts he finally fell in line behind the big rig and stayed there long after we had passed through the work zone. I appreciated what that trucker had done; too many times people have tried to get there just a little bit faster and caused unneeded accidents. Maybe the next time that guy wants to break the law, he'll think twice.

Words Of Wisdom

Love him or hate him , he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

GGGGOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL

The famous statue affectionately known as Touchdown Jesus ended its vigil along Interstate 75 last night. It was struck by lightening and burned to the ground. Can you say Holy Crap? (Holy Crap) Good heavens, I was just past there last week when I was visiting with Sister in Dayton, Ohio. It is centrally located between Dayton and Cincinnati on the roughest piece of constructionized interstate around. I don't know if someone got a few extra stimulus dollars to spend or not but I swear they have been paving and repaving the same ten feet of interstate for ten years. Now, I don't know about you, but if I was driving, at night, in a thunderstorm, in a construction zone with barriers on either side and was driving past a 60 foot statue of Jesus, the last thing I would want to see is it go up in flames. I know I already said it, but Holy Crap! Is it a sign? I'm not sure if it's a sign or not but since the World Cup is going on (and you know how crazy the world is about soccer) I wonder if it wasn't the Angels way of getting in on the action. You know Gabriel or somebody up there had to be shouting "GGGGGGGGGGGGGGooooooaaaaaaaaaaLLLLLLLLLL" when that lightening bolt struck.

I No Hard Of Hearing...II

In case you missed it the first time around... I had to pop into the post office the other day to mail off a few packages and got behind a Hispanic couple that had wanted to rent a post office box. This is the following conversation that took place: Clerk: Hi, may I help you? Hispanic male: Ola'! We want rent box? Clerk: I'm sorry. You want to send a box? Hisp male: Si. We want to box. Clerk in a slightly louder voice: I'm sorry. Where do you want to send the box? Do you have the box packaged already? With that, the slightly confused couple looked at each other, grinned widely and the female said, "Box." The clerk, obviously already having a bad day said in a still LOUDER voice: Where do you want to send the box? Couple: Si. (smiling and nodding their heads) Clerk absolutely screaming at this point: WHERE DO YOU WANT TO SEND THE BOX? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? WHERE IS THE BOX GOING? Hisp male: Ooooh. Here. (And with that he handed over the P.O. box rental application.) The clerk now understood that he didn't want to send a box, he wanted to rent a box and walked away in a snit to get the process started. The couple began having a conversation in Spanish and I didn't understand any of what they were saying until the man turned around and caught my eye. He looked at me thoughtfully for a second and said, "Why was that lady yelling at me? I no hard of hearing? I just want box." I just shrugged my shoulders because I have been guilty of that, too. Has that ever happened to you? Have you tried to communicate with someone that speaks another language and found yourself almost yelling at them because they just don't get what your saying? Language barriers can be funny and frustrating at the same time.

Blue

As you can see I've been tinkering with the blog recently. One of my cousins is going to help me with some of the more trickier elements that I have been wanting to incorporate into the blog. I've had this blue background up for several days and it's growing on me. I also like the fact that it looks like it is on a road going somewhere. (That's where I like to think I'm going anyway.) I'm also contemplating a small name change to the blog. It's been the same for the past two years and I don't know if I like it or not. I'm not sure if I am going through my third mid life crisis or not but something sure is awry... As always your thoughts and comments are appreciated. I'm really beginning to like the blue...