I'm Not Loving It

It was 98 degrees today. It was hot. I tried to stay indoors for most of the day, but the cat wanted to sit out on the porch. There is no sense arguing because the cat always wins. While we were sitting out on the porch the mail ran. There might be something important in the mailbox so I made the trip up the hill and back down again. Of course, there wasn't anything important, just two advertising fliers soliciting pre-paid funeral plots. As I flung myself into my plastic patio chair I hit the seat and slid right off catching myself before I hit the ground. It was so hot that I had become completely drenched in sweat from walking up the hill to get the mail. I had had enough; I grabbed the cat and went back inside the house. I stuck my head in the freezer to try and cool myself down. In case you're wondering, sticking my head in the freezer is a trick I learned growing up, we didn't have any air conditioning and it could get really hot during the summer. Sticking your head in the freezer cools you off quickly. While having my head in the freezer, I checked to see if I had any ice cream. (I didn't) After all, what's better on a hot day than a bowl of ice cream? My appearance wasn't at its best, so, I decided a trip to McDonald's to go through the drive thru would have to suffice. I love the ice cream cones at this fast food giant. The cone only has 150 calories (not that I am counting) and only costs about a buck, you can't beat that! I grabbed my keys and the cat and hopped in the car. It's about three miles into town, just enough time to blow out the hot air in the car and for the air conditioning to begin to cool things down. The anticipation was beginning to build, I looked over at my cat and he licked his lips. When he goes for a ride in the car he usually ends up with a treat of some kind, and doesn't seem to mind going. It was hot. I was hot. The car was hot. The steering wheel was almost too hot to touch. I got stopped at all of the stop lights going into to town. I had to pull over twice; once for a funeral and the second time for an ambulance. I finally pulled into McDonald's and the drive thru lane was backed up around the building. (I guess everyone thought ice cream was a good idea) Can you say I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream? It's finally my turn at the window, "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?" "It sure is hot, ain't it? I'd like an ice cream cone please," I replied. "Yes ma'am, it is hot. I'm sorry, but our ice cream machine is broken. Would you like something else?" I screamed, the cat screamed, the whole drive thru line was screaming. No ice cream. Ba dup ba dup baaaa, I'm not loving it.