|I was trolling through Walmart the other day along with every other first of the month check recipient (remind me never to do that again) and the joint was hopping. There were chains of old people staggering and wobbling, trying to stay upright. You know when a younger, more agile senior will offer an arm for assistance and it will be grabbed and held onto for dear life. You don't want them to fall and break a hip or something. Anyhow, I saw several groups where they were walking four and five abreast, grimaces on their faces, as skeletal and bony phalanges were dug deeper and deeper into their respective forearms as they struggled to maneuver about the store.. They were making me nervous so I headed on over to the automotive section until they were through with their shopping.
After a half hour or so spent looking at the different viscosities of motor oil (who knew)I headed back over to the food section where I noticed a nice looking, older lady who was smiling and motioning in my direction. Never one to miss an opportunity to speak to someone I rolled my cart over to her.
"Do you bake?" she asked.
"I was wondering if you baked?" she asked again.
"Well, yes, I do bake from time to time," I replied.
"Good, I'm glad I found you. I just wanted to tell you about the great deal they're having on pie shells. They overstocked from Christmas and now they are only a quarter each."
"Wow! That is a good deal. I'll have to tell my mom about it. Thanks for telling me," I said.
"I was just finishing up my part of the bargain," she said. Before I could ask what she meant she said that the lady that told her about the sale said she had to tell someone else to keep the chain going.
And before I could get the words what chain out of my mouth I saw them. A chain of the seniors that I had run from earlier were staggering towards me with an armload of frozen pie shells. I'm not exactly sure what happened next but one started to slip, one tripped, another lost her glasses and down they all went.
Can you say cleanup on Aisle 4?
Well, I did what every smart person would do, I grabbed a couple of pie shells and got the hell out of there. Later, as I was telling mom about what had happened, she was all into it, agreeing I had done the right things until I got to the end. With a quizzical look on her face she wanted to know why I had only gotten two pie shells.