Thursday, August 14, 2008

I Won An Award

I was very excited to learn that I had won an award over at One of the regulars there who likes to call himself Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars has a weekly contest that allows visitors to write the caption for an interesting photo.

My excitement was short-lived. When I found out what the prize was, I placed an immediate phone call to my therapist, who luckily was back from a much needed vacation, away from me.

The award that I received was the wondrous beautifully decorated Grand Zucchini Award.

However, I have Lachanophobia, which is an acute fear of vegetables.

I also have Chlorophobia, which is an acute fear of the color green.

I spent most of the day in therapy.

My doctor wanted to know about my Doxophobia, if I had overcome it or not? Doxophobia is a complete and utter fear of receiving praise. Holy Lard, Fat Woman!

I replied that I had been working on all of my problems, doing what I could to prevent something that might trigger a relapse.

I stay away from everything that is green and I don't like vegetables. I live alone and don't talk to anyone but my cat. No chance of any praise or recognition there.

At the conclusion of our session, my doctor looked at me and asked me if I thought I might have kakorrhaphiophobia?

What in the world is that?

Kakorrhaphiophobia is the fear of failure was his reply.

Why would I have that?

You won the contest this week, but what about the contest next week? I don't see you being a repeat winner.

I'll see you in therapy next week.

1 comment:

Da Old Man said...

Oh, my friend, zucchini is among the least vegetablest of vegetables. It can be breaded and then deep fried. It can be fried (notice a theme developing?) and then smothered with tomato sauce and cheese before being popped in the oven. It can be sauted in olive oil, and tossed with spaghetti, and then topped with some parmesan cheese. It can be baked into a bread, which is more like a cake. Zucchini is the little brother of green vegetables. It just goes along for the ride, nothing like broccoli, which is inherently evil.



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